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Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Tattoo Your Love

I dont know if you will be interested to read my life story but if you will , I hope I will leave a message to you that you will carry to your life forever . If given the opportunity that this will be posted ,thank you kaayo admins .

🙏
Hi earthlings ! Im Gwen from somewhere in Mindanao pero ga-obra dinhi somewhere in Visayas , 25 years old , maanyag and is currently holding a position in a private firm in short you will see me as kagalanggalang . Im quite sociable too pero broken hearted . So one day , niadto kog bar since alak is my coping mechanism . Medyo tipsy najud ko ato and I could still remember na niduol kog usa ka table na puros lalaki , di lang nako madumduman ilang mga dagway pero my last memory was nanguha kog beer nila ug akong gitungab in one go HAHAHA ! Nakamata nalang ko naana kog kwarto and by the softness of the comforter maski gapiyong ko I know naa ko sa hotel . And as soon as I realized it nikalit kog bangon ug mas samot kong nakuratan nga nakakita kog laki naglingkod sa may coffee table nakahukas , dagkog muscles , long curly hair ug patikan ang mga bukton . Ang kakurat nahimong kahadlok real quick , I checked myself ug wa man noon koy nafeel na s*kit except saakong ulo . Gosh I so hate hangover . Naalimungawan siguro sya ug nagtan-aw rako niya as he checked his phone ug nilingi nako . Gosh ! Bawion nako akong kahadlok earthlings kay mura kog naulaw , gwapo kaayo syang tawhana . Personally akong preference sa usa ka laki kay kani man gyud hinlo tanawon ug professional ug awra dili ning napuno ug tattoo ang lawas pero my gosh naa gyud diay muguba saatong perspective in life . I remember asking him who he was ug gitubag rako niyag ""JP"" and so I asked him how we ended up sa hotel ug gitubag ko niyag
""sunod gani miss , inom saimo rang kaya . Dili magpalabi samot nga ikaw ray isa . Nangilog naman gani kag ilimnon . Besides nanghasol paka nako na dapat nagpahuway ko kay naa koy schedule unia. ""
Gitas-an nako syag kilay ug pinabundak niingon na
""sunod ayaw ug tabang kung imo rang kwentahon. Pila man tong akong giinom ug pila may bayad danyos saimong kahasol? Name your price. ""
He let out a desperate sigh ug nitindog . Ako pud tawon gitapis najud nako ang comforter kay nahadlok ko saiyang himuon . Lapad mani syag mga abaga tawhana ug nalukop nagyud iyang lawas ug tattoo but it doesn't hide his 6 packs . Iya kong giingnan to prepare kay manlakaw nami since naa syay lakwon . As soon as we checked out , wa jud sya nanagad nako . He didn't even returned my thank you saiya . Kasuplado sa kagwang . Niuli ko sa apartment nga wala sa mood . I erased him from my memory maski pag lami syang tawhana .
FF 1 year has passed and my cousin Theia wants to have a tattoo saiyang bra line para ready na daw sa bikini since padung nag summer aning panahona . She asked me to accompany her and since weekend to , niuban ko only to be pissed off kay ang tattoo artist niya kay ang laki na di nako ganahan makita pa .
Theia : Pee , meet my cousin Gwen . Gwen this is JP my artist .
Me : not interested .
Theia : Gwen Marie !
JP : wa jud siguro ko nalimtan saimong agaw that night 'ia .
Gitaasan nako syag kilay while my cousin looked at me confused of what is going on . While they had their session naay mga nangabot na patikan pud , kauban diay atong JP . They were accommodating ug gichika gani ko sa isa to have my first tattoo and I sincerely told him nga hunahunaon sa nako and if I want it sya akong kontakon . Sige pamig chika ug kinatawhanay ug wa nako kabantay nahuman na akong ig-agaw . Nagtagbo nasad ang kilay atong JP maong giyakag na nako akong cousin na mulakaw nami .
Theia : later Pee ha , dont forget . 9 pm kita ta sa didto gihapon.
JP : sige . See you . Amping mo.
As soon as we got out of his shop , gichika dayon saakong cousin na nagsabot silang magbar mi . Wala nadaw balibaray since everything is already set . I,Theia and her friends went to the bar ug naana gyud didto si JP with his friends . Accomodating man sila except ni JP saako , nabikil gyud siguro sya atong sa hotel . Kay kani laging dili hustler ug inom I got drunk easily ug naghinayhinay nakog lakaw hantud kaya pa nako muuli . Samtang gaabang kog taxi naay nitingog saakong luyo , it was JP .
JP : kabalo ka delikado mag-inusara ang babaye nga hubog .
Me : its more dangerous to be near you . I can handle myself .
JP : I insist . Napuno lang ko ug tattoo but I am a good person . Come here , ihatod naka nako .
Me : I never judged you based on your tatts rather on how you treat me . Maong pasagdi ko .
(Sa sige nakog lakaw lakaw natakilpo pa bitaw ko.)
JP : P*I*! Dali na ihatod na tika please .
Niuban nalang ko niya and while he was driving I dozed off . Nakamata nalang ko pagpukaw niya . Dili mani nako apartment , it's a hotel again . Giingnan nako sya but he insisted that he take a nap kay medyo nagduhaduha nasad iyang eyesight . We checked in . Pagkahigda nako sa bed , I immediately fell asleep . Nakamata ko mga kadlawon and JP was beside me nakahukas . Naggakos na diay ko saiya . Nagdali dali kog adto sa CR kay kaihion nagyud ko . Naligo nalang pud ko kay baho kaayo kong alak . Since I was so confident na tulog sya , nagtapis sa ko ug towel while scrolling down my phone checking for my Monday schedule . Wa ko kabantay ningmata na diay si JP ug ambot kung hubog paba sya o naalimungawan sya , he went straight to me nga naglingkod lang sa coffee table . He hugged me from behind my shoulder and whispered "" humot kaayo ka babe , you aroused me."" Nanginit akong aping upon hearing it ug imbes na awayon nako sya , I stood up and kissed him . Yes earthlings , si mamshie ang nanguna . Gilumay gyud siguro ko niya kay dili sya akong ideal guy but here I am , kissing him . Na-wild nasad sya and we ended up sa bed . I touched his tattoos while I told him to be gentle kay wala pako naka experience labaw pa sa kiss . He smiled and kissed me passionately ug gihinay ra niya at first until I get comfortable but after that never did I imagine na mahimo to nako na mga positions . Naudtuhan mig mata ug gihatod pako niya sa apartment and exchanged phone numbers . JP unlike any guy na pag makuha na ang gusto muhinayhinay na ug ka-cold but with him , he became sweet than I ever thought he could . We became official after a week ug nangtaas ang kilay saakong mga relatives and officemates kay layo daw kaayo mi ug diperensya . They even judged him nga kriminal tungod sa kadaghan saiyang tattoo . Puno ang right arm , half sleeve sa left , puno ang likod , naa pa sa batiis , naapa sa dughan , rib cage , liog ug mga kamot . Grabe gyud ang stigma sa mga tao na naay tattoo but if we check our history , tattoo is an indication how brave our ancestors were . Besides maski patikan si JP he came from a well-off family . Both of his parents are into exporting businesses while his siblings also had their own line of business ug kani si JP was a graduate in one of the universities sa Manila and also managed his tattoo shop and clothing line . How did I know all of these ? I met his family ug sobra sila ka accommodating unlike my family nga grabe ka judgemental .
Kani si JP is overly sweet and overprotective pero not to the point na masakal naka , kiligon pa gihapon ka . He likes to send me flowers sa office o di ba kaya mukalit ug tungha para magsabay mi ug lunch or dinner ug sige panghagit ug laag for me to relax daw mostly sa beaches . I must admit , active kaayo among 6-life , he really knows how to wake the sleeping hor**y demon inside me .
One time gidala nako sya sa birthday party saakong friend and some people looked at him with conviction nga mura bitaw ug gihimuan silag dili maayo ni JP .
Rain : Hi ! You must be JP . Ikaw ragyud kanunay topic aning akong best friend .
JP : Nadala ug lumay HAHAHA ! Happy birthday Rain .
Samtang gitunol ni JP ang gift kay Rain , naay panuway nga niduol . My ex , Gerald .
Gerald : so , mao ni imong gipuli saako Gwen ? You must be so brokenhearted pagbulag nato cause you stooped low and took this guy instead . Asa nimo ni sya naila ? Sa kulungan while doing charity ?
Gisagpa nako sa way pagduhaduha si Gerald . And I thought very composed lang si JP pero gikwelyuhan na niya si Gerald .
JP : never been to any jail pero willing ko mapreso malup-og lang ka nako .
Klaro kaayo nga gapangulba na si Gerald pero maayo gani nauwang ra nako si JP . Nagsorry sya kay Rain and Rain assured us na way sayop si JP and kicked Gerald instead . He never bothered us since then .
But there is no such thing as fairytale , sometimes reality have to slap us to make us realize that we live in a real and cruel world . One day on our 14 months together , I visited his shop without informing him kay nagtuo sya na kinaugmaan pako maabot from our convention . Nagdala ko ug foods since I planned na mutambay didto . Nagpark palang ko sa car nakabantay nako sa isa ka babae na patikan pud ug nisulod sa iyang shop . Wala lang pud nako and thought na basin client niya . I got out of my car and headed to his shop only to be hurt saakong makita . JP and that girl was kissing sa couch . Ug wala pa nako gibundak akong gidala dili sila makamatngon nga naay laing tao . Nakurat si JP pagkakita saako , wala na nako sya paabuta nga mag-istorya kay enough na akong nakita ug nagdali ko ug gawas . I drove as fast as I could , wala nako kabalo kung asa ko padulong basta gusto lang ko mupalayo adtong lugara . Sige syag tawag saakong phone pero giignore nako , I hated him .
Fake love .
Yes , fake love lang iyang gipabati saako to get what he wants from me . I thought he was different pero mas labaw pa diay sya sa uban . Gipaglaban pa nako sya pero mao iyang ibalos saako , ang pasakitan ko . Nakaagi ko ug beach resort and I checked myself in . Didto ko nagmaoy . Nagself pity . I was deeply hurt kay I never expected him to hurt me tungod saiyang mga ginapakita saako . I spent the night drinking maski dili ko kusog muinom . I drank til I fell asleep .
Pag-uli nako naa didto si JP nagpaabot sa gawas , hubog . Gilabyan lang nako sya ug nisulod sa akong apartment . Nagdalidali ko ug panglock . Taudtaud naanay nanuktok , si JP . Nagpakiluoy na abrehan nako sya ug mag-istorya mi pero nagpakabungol ko saiyang sangpit . Kapuyon ra bitaw sya . Naligo ko samtang gahilak . Unsa pa kaha ilang laing ginahimo while I was away ? Dugay na kaha ko ginailad ni JP ? Those are the questions na wala nagpatulog saako . Pagka ugma , I went to my office na murag wala nasakitan pero klaro kaayo akong pagka initon ug ulo . Tanan mahasngan maski gamay rang sayop . I was like that for a week ug sulod pud ato na semana magsige ug adto si JP sa apartment pero dili nako sya atubangon o di kaha sa office ug kanunay ra sya palakwon sa guard . Siguro wala na kaantos akong mga katrabaho , they contacted Theia maong gibisita ko sa isa , sya ra ang boto kay JP saamong pamilya .
Theia : couz , manlaag ta . Grabe naman nimo kasaputon .
Me : no thanks . Daghan pakog humanon .
Theia : ah dili . Uban ka nako musugot ka o sa dili .
Giguyod ko niya pagawas sa office ug nanakay saiyang sakyanan . Sa rota palang kabalo nako asa mi padulong . Giaway nako sya ug ayo pero gideadma rako niya . Pag-abot namo sa shop ni JP , gitulak ko ni Theia pasulod . Pagkakita ni JP nako iya dayon kong gigakos . Mura ko ug nainsulto sa sitwasyon , dili man nako sala pero ako ang niadto kay JP . Napungot ko pag-ayo .
JP : babe , please let me explain .
Me : explain how you end up kissing ? How can you explain that ? Bogo nalang ang dili makasabot sa nahitabo .
JP : Im so sorry babe . Im so sorry for cheating on you .
(Gisagpa nako sya)
Me : how dare you ! Gihatag nako tanan saimo unya kani ang ibalos nimo saako ? I cant even look you in the eyes sa kasuko nako nimo .
JP : babe , Im sorry . I promise dili na nako utrohon .
Me : dili nagyud mautro JP kay wala nay kita . Ug ikaw Theia ayaw sa pakita nako . You insulted me of what you did .
Gibyaan nako silang duha sa shop ug nagtaxi pabalik sa office para kuhaon akong sakyanan . Niuli ko sa apartment ug grabeng hilak nako . Kabalo naman tana ko na nagcheat sya pero mas sa*it ang confirmation gikan niya . Pagka alas 9 nilakaw ko and headed to the bar . Naghubog nasad si mamshie until someone noticed me . Gisaway ko niya kay kusog daw kaayo ko muinom , mura daw kog laog ug alak . Giaway pa nako sya pero gikataw-an dayon . Nasudlan nakog espiritu sa alak . We introduced each other , sya diay si Owen , a gay . Pareha ming duha brokenhearted pero sya okay na kay nakabalos nadaw sya . I asked him kung unsa ang iyang balos . And this is what he told me
""Make him fall for you so hard na pag bulagan na nimo dili na sya makabangon pa.""
It was harsh pero nitatak sya saakong hunahuna . Imma teach this cheater a lesson .
∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆
I have to stop right here , gisingit lang nako sya saakong activities . If this will be posted I will send the next part as soon as I can . Thank you earthlings !
Xoxo
Gwen Marie
Vavaeng conyo

Part 2:

Omoooo I never thought my story would be published . Nabasahan nalang nako sa comment section sa isa ka confession that someone is waiting for the continuation of my story , massive shoutout to you girl .❤️😘 Nabusy man gud ko the past days ug wala nakoy time to do social media ,ganiha ragyud . Thank you admins for giving me the opportunity to share with you a bit of my life . So here it goes .

I took Owen's advice and planned it well . Wala pud ko nagpahalata that I have something in mind . Good thing JP was outside my apartment when I woke up . Gipasulod nako sya and offered for a coffee . He asked for forgiveness and I pretended like I was listening to him , sympathizing with his lies and forgave him . Hipokrita rako ug muingon ko na wala nakoy feelings saiya . Pero dili na pareha sauna nga nag-uros2x . He would continue sending me flowers , chocolates , gifts na ipanghatag ra nako . He became extra sweet but I know pakitang tao rato . One night , gidala ko niya sa party saiyang ate . Plastic man ko kay JP but not with his family . They were so happy to see us get back on each other's arms . Since it was a party , naa gyuy alak . I got a bit tipsy and JP was always on my side , assisting me . Nananghid ko niya na mugamit sa ug restroom ug iya tana kong ubanan but his brother called him kay naay gipailaila na client saiya . I went straight to the CR ug nagretouch . Paggawas nako , nalipong nagyud ko and I accidentally bumped into a guy .

Guy : sorry , are you hurt ?
Me : no I'm fine . Thanks .
Guy : are you sure ? You seem to be drunk , do you have company ?
Me : yeah but I think I will have to go .
Guy : let me give you a ride then .

Wa nako nakiglalis niya kay mahutdan nako ug english , he assisted me on our way to the parking lot . He was my ideal guy , very opposite kay JP . Wa na nako sya gihunahuna kay for me , he doesn't matter at all , nakipagplastikan ra baya ko niya . Musakay na tana ko saiyang sakyanan pero gihulbot ko ni JP .

JP : what do you think you're doing Paul ?
( Paul diay ngalan ani niya hmmm)
Paul : bro that's not how you handle a
( Wa na gipahuman ni JP si Paul kay gisumbag na niya ang nawong . Naulian ko saakong kahubog ug maayo nalang gyud nauwang sila sa mga naa sa parking lot . )
JP : let's go now babe .

Giguyod kong JP paingon saiyang sakyanan . Wala mi tingog2x duha hantud nangabot mi sa apartment . Nisulod ko sa kwarto and headed to bed . Ugma nalang ko maligo . Muhigda na tana si JP pero giunhan na nako sya .

Me : Babe ug mugawas naka , please lock the door . Thank you .

Since feeling niya napalaw sya , dugay2x pa sya ug tinindog ayha nako nadungog ang paglock sa door . Wa koy labot saiyang gibati atong gabhiuna , wala rato katunga sa akong kasakit na nabati tungod niya . JP treated me like a princess but I treated him like an enemy . Whenever mag-uban mi , I wont let my guard down . Sukad nagbalik mi , wala nay nahitabo saamo , cold akong treatment saiya , murag nagpaabot rako na mubuhi sya which he didn't .

FF JP likes to join tattoo competitions maski local lang , aside from flexing his work , he wants to broaden his market and attract more clients . Niuban ko since curious ko ug unsa ilang ginahimo during a competition . Naay live band , tagay para sa audience while the artists compete . JP was happy that I was there , supportive kintahay . I saw my cousin too , si Theia pero wala nako tagda . Naglaroy laroy ko sulod sa venue kay naa pud ubang bazaars . Kadugayan nakong laroy laroy , wa nako nabantayan nanawag na diay si JP . Naengganyo man gud ko sa naga-pierce , murag gusto sad ko magpabutang sa may pusod . So normal na itaas niya akong tshirt ug gibutangan nag piercing , paghuman iya ng gitrapuhan ang pusod nikalit ug abot si JP .

JP : babe
( He hugged me )
Me : humana ka ?
JP : yup , let's go .
( He paid the artist )
JP : nanelos ko .
Me : why would you ?
JP : di ko ganahan naay laing laki mugunit nimo .
Me : hahaha ambot nimo .

Maski napungot ko ni JP , I must say naa syay talent as an artist . Realism iyang forte ug murag buhi lantawon ang iyang gihimo based sa color ,naa man gud uban na basta makacolor okay na , dili kabalo mublend para buhi sya tanawon . JP placed 2nd sa Pro Division and he was so happy about it . Nag inom sila sa iyang shop and I must say , nalipay pud ko para niya .

Niabot ang 6 months of pretend feelings nako for him and I must say , na-igo nasad ko niya , dili ko hipokrita pero dili pud ko makasalig niya which is a foundation of any relationship , I have a feeling but I cant trust him . One day , iya kong gitawagan na muadto saiyang shop kay he sprained his wrist daw ,magpa-uban sya sa hospital kay dili sya ka drive . Niadto pud ko ug pagsulod nako , there were candles , rose petals and pictures of us nga nakatali sa balloon . His friends were there ug nagkuha sila ug video . JP was waiting for me at the corner of his shop , didto sa naay candles na giporma nila ug heart ,gagunit syag bouquet . Giduol nako sya and I was so confused .

Me : unsa ni JP ?
JP : babe , after all of the mistakes I made , you still forgave me and I have loved you more since then . I know you still haven't forgotten it yet but let me spend my forever with you and I will do everything I can to make up for it . Will you spend your eternity with me ?

Speechless ko sa nahitabo . Natandog ko saiyang gipang-ingon and he seemed genuine about the proposal pero ako dili , nagpretend lang ko that I forgave him pero deep inside wala pako kapasaylo niya ug sobra nasad ko ka-cruel ug muabot ko sa punto na mudawat kog proposal na lahi akong tumong .

Me : JP , Im sorry but NO .

Nidagan ko pagawas saiyang shop and I never knew what he did back there . Basta kay 1 week wala nagparamdam si JP nako . I should be happy pero mura kog nakonsensya . He played with my feelings and I did the worst by getting even at him . I blocked him in all of my accounts and I changed my number . He never pursued me since then . I tried to forget about him , weak lang gyud siguro sya for me kay niundang naman sya .

A year has passed and I eventually have forgotten about him . Naa mi convention sa Manila ato for 5 days . On our 4th day , nanlaag mi sa Pasay kay mupalit akong officemate ug pasalubong saiyang pet dog . Sige mig lakaw lakaw didto , nangasaag nami and we ended up sa gawas sa isa ka tattoo shop . Mangutana na tana ko sa tao didto when I saw JP nga nagtan-aw nako . I smiled at him pero wala sya ni-smile back , nisuplado naman . Nangutana nalang mi sa maski kinsa didto . Niuli mig hotel na bothered kaayo ko kay wa ko niya tagda . I even doubted na nakita ko niya mao siguro wa ko tagda pero he was looking at me , nasakitan gyud siguro sya .

At night , we went to Market Market ,naa may tagayanan sa gawas . Kabalo mo anang feeling nga murag naay nagtutok nimo maski wala ka kita ?I felt that . Paglingi nako sa likod I saw JP with some people , nag-inom pud sila . Mura kog wa kasabot saakong bation maong akong gi-agda akong colleagues na manguli mi ug sa hotel na magtiwas kay murag tipsy nami . We grabbed a ride ug didto nagyud sa hotel mi nagtiwas . Sa sulod rami sa room saakong kauban . I drowned myself sa alak to forget about JP . Dugay naman unta pero affected gihapon ko saakong kabuang . Murag dili nagyud nako kaya maong nananghid nako na muadto saakong room .

Alice : sure ka dili naka magpahatod maam ?
Me : atbang ra ani nga room akong room ,ayaw kabalaka . Pag enjoy mo dinhi kay ugma sa gabie manguli nata .
Alice : sge maam .

Paggawas nako ato na room , I stumbled upon a man , murag si JP ug built pero wala na nako naconfirm kay gaduhaduha na akong tinan-awan . I heard him curse ug gipangayo akong key card .

Me : hey , you looked like my ex .
JP : I am your ex .

Gikataw-an lang nako sya pag-alalay niya saako pahigda sa kama .

Me : you really looked like my ex .
Gikusot kusot pa nako akong mata and there , I confirmed it was JP .
Me : hoy nag-unsa ka diri ?nganong naa ka diri ?
JP : hubog lang ka , wala kay amnesia . Is this how you thank someone who helped you ?
Me : well then thank you .

Nihigda ko ug balik kay nalipong ko ug samot . Nakasense ko ni JP na nilingkod sa akong kilid ug gihawi niya ang akong buhok na naana saakong nawong . Nikalit nasad syag balikas and said

JP : Fv*k , I cant take it anymore .

Gikissan ko ni JP and I kissed him back . Mura mig kanang uhaw kaayo sa usag usa . We made so much love that night and I must say at ease na akong heart saiya unlike before na napuno ug hatred . I did miss him ug maski nilabay na ang 1 year apektado pa gihapon ko tungod kay I still love him . You can fake love for as long as 3 months , beyond that kung unsa imong nabati sa usa ka tawo mao najud na . And I had this fear na basin himuon niya saako ang akong gihimo saiya . When I woke up the next day , sakit kaayo akong ulo pero mas sakit akong heart . JP was gone . He left me .

I have to stop right here usa ha , I have loads to do . Promise dili nako dugayon .

Xoxo ,

Gwen Marie

Vavaeng conyo

Part 3:


Thank you sa tanan na naghulat and nag appreciate . I hope you learned a lesson from that part of my life , never play with anyone's feelings , it wont get you anywhere good . Sugod nata sa last part ? Ready namo ? Here it goes .

Instead of going back that night , I cancelled my flight and just let my officemates go home without me . Naghinamhinam ko that JP will be back but he didn't , na-brokenheart napud hinoon ko . Nakarma ko saakong gihimo saiya . I spent the night scrolling my social media account while having some wine . While scrolling I saw Theia's post in her IG account , naka-tag didto ang ubay2x na tao , JP was included . It was a picture from a tattoo competition held in Makati . Pero nisakit akong dughan pagkakita nako kay JP na naay kaagbay na laing bae . Dili ni sya ang bae na akong nakita sa iyang shop sauna . I stalked JP's account puros art niya ang naa didto but when I saw a girl's name being tagged , gi-stalk pud nako which I regretted eventually . Her name is Paula , engaged na silang duha ni JP . Naghubog ko ug ayo dala maoy . Nibalik nasad akong hatred saiya , pahungawan rajud siguro iyang tan-aw saako . He was engaged pero kung makabalibali saako the other night murag single . I cried so hard that night ug ready na unta ko to sleep when someone rang the doorbell . Wa nako panumbalinga pero murag dili ko patulgon sa naga doorbell . Nagmug-ot ko while opening the door pero it turned into shock when I saw JP , he was drunk . Di tana nako pasudlon pero nag-una2x na syag iya .

JP : why are you drinking alone babe ?
(Iya kong gibira pagakos saiya and smelled my hair)
JP : nagtuo ko na namalikmata rako but you are really here babe .
Me : gawas na dinhi JP please . Sorry for what happened the other night , I never knew you are engaged .
( Gipugngan nako akong luha na mutulo )
JP : do you really want me to leave now baby ?
( Sige gihapon sya ug simhot saakong buhok santang gagakos )
JP : answer me baby , do you ?
Me : no

And right there and then we kissed and made so much love . Niingon nalang ko saakong kaugalingon that would be the last time na magpakita ko saiya , I dont want to keep ruining his life , he is engaged , di na ko dapat manggubot . Pagka ugma sayo ko nimata and took a shower . I planned to grab a plane as a chanced passenger . Paggawas nako sa bathroom , mata na si JP . Nanginit nasad ko looking at his naked body na mostly covered with tattoo .

JP : good morning babe .
Me : good morning . I'm sorry but I have to check out , I need to go home today .
JP : mag-ilis sa ko , uban ta ug uli .
Me : no P , please , don't make this complicated than it already is .
JP : what are you trying to say ?Mulikay nasad ka nako ? Mubiya nasad ka ? Mudagan nasad ka nako ? No ! Dili nako musugot Gwen .
Me : how about Paula ?
JP : she has nothing to do with us baby .
( He held my face and caress it )
JP : it's always been you Gwen . I proposed to Paula before I caught her cheating on me with other artist based here in Manila .
( I listened to his confession with so much pain )
JP : I forgave her and called off the engagement , she kept begging me to continue the wedding but I couldn't anymore , dili niya madawat maong wala niya tanggala sa stat niya . But when I saw you at Cartimar , I really talked to her that everything about her and me is over . Before I came here last night , I am so free from any commitments Gwen because I am waiting for you to allow me again to commit myself to you .
( These were his exact words and I was crying hearing those , guilt struck me all over again , maski diay ug napasakitan nako sya love gihapon ko niya . I want to make it right this time )
Me : but there is something I have to tell you . And I know dili ko nimo mapasaylo . Gibalsan tika tong nagbalik ta , pero tong nagpropose ka , I declined dili tungod kay part sya sa akong balos but because dili nimo deserve nga makauban ko while I felt more hatred than love towards you .
( I prepared myself saiyang mga sakit na ipang ingon )
JP : I know . Katung akong sala dili to dali mapasaylo maong nakabalo nako na mubalos ka pagdawat nimog balik saako . I was relieved na mao rato imong balos saako but my pride was hurt maong wala nako nagparamdam saimo . I thought you would never forgive me but last night , naconfirm nako tanan . So please , stop running away from me . Love me instead .
( I hugged him so tight )
Me : Im so sorry baby , I love you JP .
JP : finally , I love you too Gwen .

Before going to the airport , we made love again . Niadto sa mi saiyang hotel to get his things ayha mi namalik ug uli . Wala nagyud sya musugot na dili mi mag-uban ug puyo , daghan nag time na nawala and he want to make up with those times . Wala napud ko nagpapugong saakong pamilya ug gipailaila nagyud nako si JP saila at my dad's birthday . At first lahi gyud ang tan-aw saiya pero they eventually loved him kay very professional the way he speaks and move , English speaking man gani kaayo . Once a week we would visit my parents and have dinner .

JP would spoil me with surprises , flowers and gestures every woman desires for a man to be . But one surprise gave me so kilig . He tattooed my portrait on his left upper arm by one of the famous artist in Manila during their competition , hilig gyud ni syag panulong ug events , that was my picture he first took saamong pagbalik .

One night , pag-uli nako from work , nahibulong ko ni JP kay nagluto man ug dinner .

Me : sayo diay ka nagsarado saimong shop babe ?
JP : yes baby , today is special maong gahinan ug oras .

Naghunahuna ko basin monthsary namo pero dili man gyud . Nag-ilis nalang ko para tabangan sya after . Paggawas nako , he played our favorite songs . He handed me bouquets ug giusog ang chair for me .

Me : makulbaan ko sa sweetness , naa kay sala no ?
JP : ing-ani baya ko kanunay .
Me : yes but sobra karon hahaha . Wait , picture-an sa nako for the gram .
( Samtang busy ko taking pictures sa foods , niluhod ug kalit si JP )
JP : babe , you always know what's inside my heart and who is inside this . I want to spend my whole life with you , will you spend mine with me too ? Will you marry me baby ?
( He opened the small box while some tears roll down his cheek )
Me : yes baby , yes !

Gisul-ob niya ang ring saakong finger and we kissed . He was the happiest . We ended the night making love like there's no tomorrow . Kinaugmaan we went to our parents' houses and informed them about our engagement and agreed about the traditional church wedding 2 months from that day . But JP grew impatient and we decided to have civil wedding first bahala ug kami kami lang . At 23 I got married with the man of my life and my heart . I am officially his and he is officially and legally mine .

A month before the church wedding I got so sick maong nagpauban ko saiya sa clinic kay magsige kog kalipong , basin anemic nasad ko . And during the check up , the doctor informed us that we are expecting . Dili mahitsura ang nawong ni JP sa kalipay ug maski naa mi sa atubangan ni Dra. iya kong gikissan . Adtong gabhiuna , we made love thru our soul , I mean , we connected with each other through sharing of our thoughts , dreams , disbeliefs , anything that we could think of .

JP : babe , mura kog high sa mga panghitabo . I am the happiest man right now . Maski pa siguro ug kuhaon nako ugma ni Lord , muatubang ko niya ugma nga magngisi . I mean , walay makadulot nako karon .
Me : haaay babe , who would have thought muabot ta kung asa ta karon dba ? Afterall saatong giagian .
JP : we are meant for each other babe , that's for sure .

We kissed and hugged more often that night , grabe ka peaceful ug happy to nga gabie . Pagkaugma , gihatod ko ni JP sa akong work , he doesn't want me to drive anymore kay hago daw ug delikado . During lunchtime , nanawag si JP nako , naa daw sya sa lobby . Nagdali dali pud ko ug adto . He hugged me so tight and kissed me .

JP : I brought you healthy lunch baby . Starting karon you will have to eat healthy food , wala nay coffee and fastfoods . You have to take care of yourself and our baby .
Me : of course babe basta ayaw ko hatagi ug stress ha .
JP : I love you baby , so much .
Me : I love you too .
JP : sige na , kaon na ha . Naa koy gihimo diha na fresh apple juice . Mulakaw nako babe , naa koy client sa shop karon , lalaki ni ha .
Me : amping babe . I love you .

We kissed and hugged so tight before he left . Lami gyud muluto akong hubby . I sent him a photo of the food , I even uploaded it in my gram . Sobra kaayo ko ka-proud that I have a hubby that is so sweet and caring . Wala nakoy laing pangayuon pa . At 2 pm , nikalit rako ug pamugnaw , nalipong ko . Good thing one of my officemate noticed me ug gihatagan ko ug warm water . I decided to just go home . Gichat nako si JP na muuli nako since I wasn't feeling well . Wala na nako tawagi since I know naa syay client . Nag-abang pako ug taxi when JP called me .

Me : yes babe ?
Stranger : hello miss ? Imo siguro ning bana ang tag-iya ani ug sa sakyanan no ? Nadisgrasya sya miss , padung sa ospital . Dalia miss kay murag delikado man to iyang kahimtang .

Nagpanic ko upon hearing , perti nakong hilak . Giduol ko sa guard kay nabarag nako . They called our department ug nagdalidali ug duol sila Alice .

Alice : maam , are you okay ?
Me : Alice please ubani ko sa ospital . My husband is in the hospital .

Sa way pag duha2x niuban si Alice as soon as she grab her things . Nidalidali kog adto sa emergency room pagsulod namo sa hospital . I asked the nurse kung asa akong bana . Giubanan mi niya pero dili sa ward o sa room , nideretso mi sa morge . Didto nako nakuyapan pagkakita nako sa patay nga lawas ni JP . Gitabang ko nila ug wala rasad nagdugay naulian ko . Niduol kog balik sa lawas ni JP and I hugged him so tight . Dili ko mutuo .

Me : babe , wake up . Please . Dili ni maayo nga joke babe . Kabalo baya ka na dili ko pwede mastress . Undangi nani imong joke babe please . Wake up baby . Wake up !

Giduol nako ni Alice ug gigakos , naghilak nasad diay sya .

Me : he's not dead Lis , let's just wait na mumata sya , he loves to surprise me dba , basin usa ni saiyang surprises .
Alice : maam , relax . Dili maayo kay baby mastress kag sobra .

Nibuhi kog gakos ni Alice ug nigakos kog balik ni JP .

Me : baby , ngano man ? Nganong ikaw man ? Daghan tag plano . Baby mata na please . Wala nako nalipay .

I never realized naghilak na diay ang mga naa saakong palibot . Kuhaon na tana sa mag embalsamo si JP pero wala ko nisugot . Our families were informed as well . Perting hilak nilang tanan pagkakita kay JP ug siguro saako kay dili man gyud ko mubuhi ug ginakos niya .

Ate : Gwen , Im so sorry but you have to let him go for now . They need to fix him .
Me : mubalik na dayon si JP te after they fix him ?

Gigakos nalang gyud kog huot ni ate after I said those , kita kaayo saakong mata ang kasakit . During his funeral , ikapila siguro ko nakuyapan . We decided na ipacremate nalang ang lawas ni JP para kanunay nako syang uban . It was the hardest days of my entire life . Naglisod kog dawat sa mga panghitabo . I lost the will to live kay wala na ang akong kapares , JP took half of my heart with him in heaven . Namayat nako kay dili kaayo ko mukaon . Sa ikaduhang higayon nga nagbleed ko , I dreamt of JP . Iyang gihaplos akong nawong and kissed my forehead .

JP : babe , Im sorry if I have to go early . I love you so much .
Me : I love you too babe . Balik na please .
JP : you have to go forward without me baby . Remember what I told you that day that you have to take care of yourself and of our baby ?please do it babe . Gusto ka pati si baby muuban saako ?I don't want it to happen kay basin dili ko makapadayon saakong lakaw kay mabalaka ko nga walay mag-uban saimo .
Me : but baby I want you back , together with us .
JP : I am always with you , naa ko kanunay sainyong heart . I love you so much Gwen , you and our baby are the best that ever happened to me .

I hugged him so tight until a force separated us . I saw him waved his hand and he went to the light . I woke up crying so hard ,nagkara2x akong parents ug sulod sa kwarto . They comforted me . Perting hilak ni mommy pagkakita nako nga naggakos sa urn ni JP .

Mommy : nak , enough na . JP will never be happy seeing you like this .
Me : I dreamt about him mom . It seems so real . He is really gone .

Nakatulog ko sa grabeng hinilak nako . I fulfilled what JP asked me to do . At 24 , I gave birth to our baby boy . I named him after his father ,maski ang nickname mao lang gihapon maong murag buhi lang gihapon si JP even karon cause our baby looked like him . He is the sweetest too ug wala jud ko lisda anang hilakhilak sa kadlawon , makaingon gud ko nagtabang sad siguro ug bantay iyang daddy saiya .

February this year I tattooed his portrait on my chest close to my heart , nananghid ko saiya kay kabalo kong seloso akong bana ,basin kuhiton palang mi niya hahaha . I saw one of the posts regarding mixing the ash of their loved ones sa tattoo and so I did it , officially kauban nagyud nako kanunay si JP .

I may be smiling now but fresh pa tanan ang sakit , I dont know how long I will be grieving , siguro dili na maundang , magfade man but will never end because forever I lost a part of me . Ug dili pa tungod saamong anak , hagbay rako nisunod niya but I made a promise to JP and I will fulfill it because I love him so much . Dili ko mag-istorya ug tapos pero I am devouting my life to my child and to God alone until the day will come na sunduon nako ni JP .

As of now I drown myself with work para makalimot sa sakit kay I have to be strong for our little JP . I am starting to move forward with the tragedy with JP with me , I tattooed his love to me . ❤️

Dinhi nalang ko kutob . Thank you sa tanan nagbasa ug naghulat . 🙏

Xoxo ,

Gwen Marie

Vavaeng conyo

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