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Friday, October 22, 2021

Basta Seaman Masarap Tikman - Confession


 #BastaSeamanMasarapTikman #BSMT


HAHAHAHAHAHA Hi guyyyys! Di diay ni SPG nga confession, eye catcher lang na ang hashtag kay basi'g di ni ninyo basahon, masayang ang effort sa akong precious hands HAHAHAHAHA. Sure ko igkapost ani, daghan makaila nako kay open book kayko, very transparent. If naay mangutana, mutubag rapud ba with details pa gyud ๐Ÿคฃ Ang ako lang hangyo ayaw ko ninyo itag kay maikog ko (char, naikog hahahaha bitaw seryoso para mystery2 ang show). Bear with me lang ky murag taas jud kaayo ni kay di ko ganahan magpart two kay hasol. Admin pls hide my identity kay im using my personal email to send this.

So, muintro sa ko ha? Di man kaha mo masuko? I'm 21 years of age, graduate of a prestigious university which I refuse to name. Hilig ko ug join ug pageants before and a few contests here and there like mga singing contest, oration, acting ug mga school press conference hilig pud ko ug suwat ug novels and scripts. Dili sa paghambog; pero, di man sad pud ko despisable ug nawng and I often thrive in the contests I join in kay di ko gusto muatubang ug taw nga hilaw ko's akong giapilan. When I was young I was very idealistic sa kung unsay qualities dapat naa sa akong mauyab puhon. When I got older I realized mas timbang jud ang batasan sa taw.

College came, nabusy kyko kay officer ko sa room, college, university ug sa church as in puno kog tun-anan ug meetings. Dzaaa, mura jud kog tarong oy ๐Ÿคฃ pero yes, bait, ganda at utak ang puhunan hahahaha. Wa jud koy char2 or unsa pana dha atong tyma nya kana ganing peer pressure nga imong friends naa nay mga bayukems, nya ikaw kay wa jud kay mafeel nga urge mag uyab2? Nakapangutana kos ako self atong tyma ug normal pa ba ko? Pero di mn sad sa ingon wa koy crush ky macrush man ko panagsa ug naay worthy aw HAHAHAHAHA.

NBSB ko for 19 yrs guys and dali ra kaayo maturn off coz duh standards. Di ko ganahan mureply ug messages nga bati ug intro like, puta? 'hello' 'hi gwapa'; makasapot. BASIC KAAYO. BLAND. BORING.

I focused on studies until I met a guy I actually liked (at 17) and got heartbroken (at 19). Grabe guys akong inbox sauna kay mapuno jud na ug 30-35 msgs sa mga lalaki nga makig-hangout, mangayog number or unsa pa. Sa kanang 30-35 msgs kay usa ra gyud akong replyan tawgon nato syag Gord. I found him very persistent kay everyday sya muchat, replyan ko niya bisan gaDOTA sya or gatan aw ug movie, makigdungan syag simba, makiglaag but never anang mga tyma nga nimake syag advances like hold hands and sht. He always just makes me feel safe until I decided to confess to him that I liked him. What he said broke me jud "ITS NOT YET TIME TO LIKE ME". Napawng jud ko. I think it was my ego being crushed ato that sa akong huna-huna, 'sa kadaghang muchat nako, ikaw ra akong gireplyan nya shutang inerns, not yet time?!'. I stopped replying, or at least I kept my replies short with long intervals. I GOT FRIENDZONED HAHAHHA AT LEAST, charge to experience hahahaa.

I was hurt. BADLY. As in, I was in slumps for months (not literally, but emotionally). 'I gotta move on' I told myself, so, I joined more pageants, started showing off some skin on social media because my friends encouraged me to do so by saying "daghan kay kag nindot na pictures, flaunt it. ngano man diay magbikini? u look good. post it!" From then on, my follower count raised drastically, the msgs blew off to higher counts pati naay mga uyab mumsg nako (which they regretted after coz awayon man nako sila kay ngano gud tawn mamiga silag lain nga committed na sila). Yes, wa koy uyab ato tyma pero di ko desperada.

6 months have passed since Gord kind of rejected me, emotionally drained ghapon ko, I felt as tho loser kayko for still being sad over someone who never really loved me. Pampalipas oras rako, txtan lng ko ug way lain kuyog ๐Ÿคฃ My sadness turned to rage somehow and some of my friends suggested I should date the men inboxing me kay single ko and wa daw kaso kay date2 raman. So I dated not over 10 men in a month and I realized nga di nato ako. I don't like it anymore. Yes, free imong food but naa juy uban laki nga past-time ray panan-aw sa imo if musugot kas ilang hangout sesh. Coffee shop unang hagad, bhouse or MH na dayun after ang offer. I felt low being asked that question and I stopped. I went on a complete hiatus and decided to look for myself again because I realized nga sa kagustuhan nako makamove on, I tried to use people and ended up looking low because most of them just wanted to get me and get it over with (disclaimer: no one ever got me because principles duh). At the end of this dating journey, I realized I still loved Gord jud diay.

I joined theatre in 2017 (after my dating sprees) to pass the time and because hilig jud nako. The director of the play was the same director we had for a musical play back in 2015. Close jud ko ani niya let's call him Sir Lancelot. Si sir L kay aware na syas akong dating sprees (otherwise known as MY HOE MOMENTS) he understood ngano nabuhat to nako but was proud nga wa ko nagpadala. Kani si sir L guys, teacher sad ni syas UC nya naa jud ni syay project nga film2 for his students every finals. One time during our musical play practice, he called me at 7:30AM nangutana sya asa ko. Late naman ko ato panahona kay duol raman amo, nagsalig rako. Gatoothbrush pa inyong ate atong tyma so nitubag rapud kog "naa pakos balay sir".

Sir L: "Pagdali oy! Nya pagdala ug 5 kabuok dress kanang sexy ha!"
Me: "Ha? Ngano man sir?"
Sir L: "No questions asked. Pagdala nalang nya dalia nag anhi kay ang production team naa na dri" *puts down phone*

I was shocked. Pero nakahinumdum man ko nga nagtalk sila about pictorial for the past 2 weeks, so nag expect ko magpictorial. Gatuo ko ipahuwam akong mga dress sa cast maong 5 kabuok, gidala nlng pud nako. Nanudlay pako that time nitawag nasad si Sir L balik.

Sir L: "asa naman ka tawn? gahuwat na lagi dri ang production. pagdali na!"
Me: "ahhh bag o pa gani sya nitawag ba, lagi mgdali nako hahahahaha" (di ni disrespect, close lang jud mi)
Sir L: 'k.' *puts phone down*

Dali dali kog pangilay wa nalang ko nitiwas ug panudlay kay mas importante ang kilay. Halos gilupad nako ang venue guys gahangak pa inyong ate pag-abot.

Sir L: "di ka mupractice karon!"
Me: "Ha? ngano man sir?"
Sir L: "basta. pananghid dhas imong production manager nga mawala ka whole day nya sakay na didto *points to a white van*"
Me: "Ha? asa diay ta? pictorial? Ngano ako ra sir?"
Sir L: "basta oy. sakay na dayun didto kay gadali ta."

Pagsulod nako sa van guys naay isa ka toyab sa leftmost sa backseat tapad niya is a 6 footer nga laki nga nagcap which is tapad pud nako dayun si sir L sa akong right side so bale, 4 mi kabuok sa backseat. Sa passenger seat naay usa kababae, then another guy was driving. All of them were giggling and I sat there completely dumbfounded and sir L started to introduce me to them, his students, puros diay ni sila Nautical. Palami pa kaayog sturya ang kegwa nga sir kay bright daw ko nya favorite daw ko niya so, makamemorize jud daw ko dayun. Sus! gitunulan btaw kog 10 pages na script guys kay inig stop daw sa van didto sa venue kay magshooting na daw mi. Project diay to nila sa subject ni sir L. Ulollllll ang shootingon btaw namo guys kay kasal yawa! Ako ang bride pucha nya akong first line kay 'I LOVE YOU' DI KA MUBARAG? DI GANI KO KALITOK UG I LOVE YOU NATAY KA AWKWARD. Gi all caps na nako para mafeel ninyo akong nafeel. Lain diay unta to ang gikuha na artista para mudala sa bride pero nicancel sya last minute nya ako ray mabira dayun HAHAHAHAHA NASTRESS JUD KO ATO WAY JOKE. WA MAN KOY PROBLEMA SA ACTING pero kay wa man ko kaila sa sa akong mga kaeksena so, di gyud ko comfortable.

Gipascript rehearsal mi ni sir L sulod sa van (kami sa akong groom, katong 6 footer) tawgon nato syag Saber. Maayo nalang si Saber kay buotan kaayo like hinagad jud sya so, di ra kaayo awkward ang situation kay gaan ra sya ka-acting. Sir L told me nga di pato mao, naay pay mangapas nga kagrupo nila. Gwapo si Saber pero iyang nawng kay boy next door kaayo nya iyang body type kay di nako type hahahaha gusto ko naay fats gamay hahahaha. Pagnaog sa van sa usa ka breathtaking na subdivision naa puy lain car nipark nya ninaog ang demonyo hahahaha chos! Gwapo bitaw ang ninaog tawgon nato syag Valir (si BSMT najud ni sya guys), this is it! HAHAHAHAHA NAABOT NAJUD TAS IYANG PART SA STURYA.

Wa ko nitingog pero nitingog si sir L, "apil pud na sya sa film ninyo, mao na imong karibal". I immediately understood.

(To give you a glimpse of the storyline sa short film nga among gishoot, akong soon-to-be husband (character ni Saber) kay bisexual. He had a former relationship with his bestfriend (mao ni character ni Valir). They loved each other until Saber met me kunuhay and chose me over sa character ni Valir, Saber and I were about to get married when I ran away kay kakita ko nila duha ni Valir naggakos and I thought mailisdan nakog bayot. The main lesson here is acceptance and forgiveness for the LGBT community)

Akong natubag rajud this time kay, "sir L, wa man ka niingon nga mga tag-as akong kaeksena, nagdala unta kog heels!" putot btaw kaayo ko guys nyati. Gikataw-an rako ni sir L nya nanud nami kay magshooting na.

Pagstart na, si Saber rajud akong kasturya kay kami may ka-scene nya approachable rapud siya. Scene by scene kay nagkafriends mis ilang group kay tabian man pud ko. Sila tanan nafriend nako except ni Valir. Based on observation kay artehon nya pakboi kayg nawng so I didn't bother pud mutagad. Sige ramig sturya sa cast until naabot mig talk about TV series. I mentioned Game of Thrones and I babbled about it because it's GoT lol, who doesn't like GoT? Nibutt-in btaw na si Valir, "Ay GoT? bati mana. Gifast forward ra nako adtos sex scenes".

Niulbo akong kaspa guys. Nagmake face gyud ko kay transparent btaw ko. I tried to reason out nga the sex scenes weren't at all malicious
visually, for me it was very artsy cinematography-wise nya it revealed medieval times of brothels and prostitutes and savages. And to my dismay, Valir said "naaaah."

Nangsnob ko niya and I talked to other people. Like all of them, except him. Sapota jud nako btaw but I don't want to leave off nasty rebutts so I opted not to interact. After lunch, Valir stood up and asked if allowed ba musmoke didto. And pak! nasamutan inyong ate, di najud ko gusto muinteract niya kay lol smoker nya batian sa GoT? tf nooo. I don't want to be friends with him.

Later that day naabot najud mig shoot sa kasal. part. I wore a white gown with a very long tail and backless all the way down. The veil is also super long. They all complimented me in that dress except Valir again. We had no recording equipment so, we opted to use a headset and phone for recording. I was using a keypad phone that time kay nasnatch akong iPhone. I used Valir's phone for recording. His phone was inserted in my bra sa back part and he said "Ah swerteha sa akong phone". I disregarded the very sexist remark because I know he was soliciting a reaction that would boost his egotistical self. Pero nah, didn't give him that satisfaction.

I was asked to walk down the aisle kay ako una ishoot nya nag ilis pa that time si Saber (akong groom). Waiting sa altar is the priest and the best man, si Valir. While we were filming my walk to the altar, their neighbor coincidentally played "BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE" pagstart nakog lakaw (akong gimention ang song because after this day, mura kog gisungog nga everywhere I go, I hear this song; muduty/ musakay bus/ muadtog mall/ song nga mamathan nako nagplay sa radio). Note nga during the shooting, layo pajud na nga silingan ang nagpaplay ug beautiful in white kusug lang jud ilang speakers. We all laughed sa katimely sa song.

Fast forward. The day ended and we all parted ways. Akong naclose jud maayo kay ang girl nila nga kauban, let's call her Kimmy. Nagchat mi ni Kimmy that night and gisungug sungog ko niya ni Saber kay bagay daw bla bla. I kept telling her di ko kay naay uyab. She pushed it with "magbuwag rana, ug di ka anang naay uyab, si Valir nalang"

Me: "Simbako ka dha! Kamaldito ato nya maniac man to."
Kimmy: "Ayaw btaw sad ato niya. Sige man tog absent nya lain2 babae dad on sa skwelahan"
Me: "Hahahaha di sad jud ko ganahan ug smoker"
Kimmy: "btaw btaw"

That same night Saber chatted me saying thanks for my help kay without me basin hagbong daw sila and I appreciated it. I told Kimmy na nichat si Saber kay nagthank you, gikilig ang kugtong sige nasad panungog, gipasagdan ra nako. Si sir L, naibog sad na sya ni Saber hahahaha first love daw niya so bawal jud daw nako kawaton hahahaha. Nalingaw man ko nga ganahan si sir L ni Saber, gajoke ko guys nga "sige Sir, giangkon naman nimo si Saber, si Valir nalang akoa. Iregards ko ha! Ayg kalimot"

Hala ka dihaaaaa gitinuod sa kegwa! Giregards ko niya ni Valir while gaexam sila. PISTE! AKONG KAULAW NOH? NGA DI MAN JUD UNTA JOKE MAN TAWN TO SA AKONG BABA NGA PATAKA RAG CHIKA.

Wa ko kahibaw that time nga kalat na diay nila nga naibog kono kong Valir. There was a time I visited sir L sa ila school gadala kog pizza two boxes nya nanghatag syag grado that time sa computer room. Nidretso rako sa iyang office kay adto man jud ko tigtambayan sukad. Sus gipatawag btaw ko niyas iyang mga estudyante kay paadtuon kos computer room. Mao diay kay naas Valir didto grrrr. Pagsulod nako gisungog nako atay, syempre mauwaw ko oy kay ngano gud tawn nga wa man jud. Namuwa ang yads giatay nasamotan kog sungog so, nibalik nalang kos office ni sir L.

Sukad ato sige nag mention si Kimmy ni Valir sa chat. Sendan kog pictures na nag charge syas room nila ug kanang mga stolen. Wa rasad koy paki kay gwapa baya ta chars. That month niuli ug Cebu ang uyab ni Saber and staying strong kaayo sila so, naguilty si Kimmy nga isungog sungog ko niya ni Saber. Nikalit btaw nag ask si Kimmy, "Dae, nagkachat naman mong Saber sauna noh?"

Me: "Oo. Katung ngthank you siya after sa shooting"
Kimmy: "So, wa pamo gachat ni Valir ever?"
Me: "Wa. ngano magchat man mi? wa man miy chattan!"
Kimmy: "Wala lang. Hi hello lang gud"
Me: " Oh? murag buang"
Kimmy: "Di man gud. Ge, I dare u to chat him. Isog man kaha ka? Nya wa man jud kaha ka naibog?"
Me: "dah oy, no need. wa man jud ko naibog"
Kimmy: "Ngeee naibog ka oy. Ngano di man nimo kaya"
Me: "Fine. Pero para rani maprove nako nga wa jud."
Kimmy: "Mana? Nichat naka?"
Me: "Wa oy. Wa gaonline. Unya na ug muonline, abi palang gisearch iyang pangan. Baga baya tog nawng"
Kimmy: "Bantay ha. Bantay btaw"

After hours nionline man sad ang piste nga Valir, nangstalk ko mga besh kay nangita kog topic na makarelate mi duha. Sus ang wall kay puro share2 anang virgin daw sya nya wa pa kainom ug beer sukad. Murag tru, certified pakboi jud kaayo ba. One photo caught my eye tho. It was a group photo of premed students then boom, classmate silas akong close kaayo na miga pag-HS. So, boom! topic!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Since then, we had endless conversations of Greek mythology, Pokemon, Disney, Politics, Religion, Economics and anything and everything under the sun. He is really smart. He took all my witty statements and made a few more himself. I felt as tho I misjudged him? We talked and talked until he wanted to meet up. Asa ang meet up? Di coffee shop/ dagat/ mall/ MH or lodge. Nagkita mis Simala he accompanied me there because I said I wanted to say thank you to Mama Mary after that sem. Wa nadugay, I dared him not to smoke and cut classes and cut classes anymore. He agreed!!! Which baffled me at first kay I have absolutely no right to dictate what he should and shouldn't do kay hellooo? we're just friends.

Ever since, he takes me out na after school, kaon and talk and suroy til he asked me to be his gf. I refused guys 5 times. That time man gud nahurt ghapon btaw ko ni Gord. Wa pajud ko nakamove on fully bisan wa nagkakami. Nya gusto ko if makarelasyon ko kanang sure ko niya, sure sad siya nako. Akong panan-aw ni Valir man gud kay same ra syas uban laki, uwagan. Kanang after ka makuha kay biyaan ka. So, I said no. 5 times. Pero after that he still chatted me, he still asked me if nakauli na ba ko. I told him na bahalag wa nako sya gisugot kay on gihapon ang dare. Di na sya musmoke and mucutting. He still agreed and I'm completely, absolutely flabbergasted. I thought to myself, what if gamiton nako siya pag move on? What if uyabon nako siya? Gwapo man kaayo sya, di man ko mauwaw ug makahibaw man gani ang mga taw na siya akong uyab. If ever binuangan ko niya, aw quits ra kay gamiton rasad nako sya pag move on. Nice ra? hahahaha
So, eventually, nagkakami jud. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months til such time I fell in love with Valir for all that he is as a boyfriend, bestfriend, brother and his sugar dadaness ๐Ÿ˜‚ HAHAHAHAHA Kidding aside, legal nami both sides, I saw traits of him you'd never know and understand in the first 4 months. At the end of the day, I have come to feel so lucky to be with a person that updates me every single time, adtuon ko kung asa ko every vacant niya, adtuon kos balay kada out niya. Everytime saputon ko out of nowhere, he just laughs and tells me "kacute nimo oy, gidugo ra ka by". And those times I'm really in the wrong, he never let's me out easy, sturyaan jud ko niya asa ko nasayop thus, helping me grow pud as a person.

I was bashed diay last year in Curious Cat for posting pictures of us sa akong myday and sa akong tweets sa twitter. Why am I so showy daw and dili daw ko dapat magpaklaro nga inlove kaayo ko sa guy. They left sarcastic remarks nga di mi magdugay and all HAHAHAHAHA ambot ninyo btaw, whoever you are, I AM AT MY HAPPIEST. HOW ARE YOU? ๐Ÿ˜œ

2 years nami yey!!! Happy 2nd anniversary baby ๐Ÿ˜˜. Til now, wa gihapon sya nausab sige syag tawag every night for 2-3 hrs regardless if nagkuyog nami anang adlawa. He txts at random times to say "baby, naa koy chika". HAHAHAHAHA HE IS THE CUTEST FOREVER. I won't deny that our relationship had hurdles too. Naay mga temptation here and there. There was even a girl from yu es je ar na nanghagad niya ug MH kay ang girl ra daw mubayad hahahahaha mastress man pud ta nimo miss hahahahaha imong nawng murag kubal nakos tiil, ay nalang pagdahom!

At the end of the day, I learned that you can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Stay steadfast and be the woman men would want to marry. Love yourself and grow to be the woman they'd want to raise a child with because after everything, you're gonna be a mother, the values you believe in will be the values you're gonna inculcate to your children.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH VALIR ☺️๐Ÿ˜˜ thank you for everything HAHAHAHAHA kagwapo bas akong uyab shet hahahaha uyab na, crush pa. Kiss ko bi ๐Ÿ’‹ Again, happy anniversary! I am more than lucky to have you, Yer shekh ma shieraki anni.

P.S. to those who understood the dothrakian language, salute brethren! And update, he loves GoT now but I love him more ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š Kung ganahan mog detailed chika sa among story like the 'US' rajud, comment down below. Gimention ra nako ang process dri kay para makasabot mo ngano nisugot kog seaman knowing ika-54 nako niya nga uyab HAHAHAHA reax incominggggg... hahahhaha pawng!

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Part2
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Huuuuy makahilak ko'g building sa inyong feedback ๐Ÿ˜ญ hihi love lots. Sa mga wala pa nakabasa sa prologue hahaha mao ni ang link kay di na tamo hasol-hasolon kay pinangga man tamo. CHAROT! Again, pls don't reveal my identity, I'm using my personal email to send this.

Btaw naay mga nicomment na they want to read the detailed story of me and Valir getting together. But before I start, I want to reply to a few comments ๐Ÿ˜…

1. Di ko bayot guys, I have an all-natural taler nga lavender-scented HAHAHAHA aw. Bayot lang jud kog baba kay daghan kaykog friends na toyab kay pageant-goer baya ko. Naay isa kabitter na kuya na niingon maypa magML nalang daw ko because feel nako di jud sya mutuo hahahaha hi kuya! yes actually magML jud ko, di lang ko muparty nimo kay cancer man ka ๐Ÿ˜
2. I know Martha Cecelia. Fan ko'g PHR back in high school ☺️
3. Di ni nako botbot na sturya. I love acting since elementary days, nadala na nako til now. Tigjoin jud ko ug musical plays na legit since 2015 that's where I my close friend and Director na si Sir L.
4. I'm not from UC, nagkaila rami ni Sir L kay siyay nidirect sa among musical play last 2015 as mentioned. I only said "taga-UC sad si sir L" referring to him and his students nga included sa short film nga among gishoot back in 2017.
5. Sa niask if I'm still indulged in purity, I'll be honest, dili na and yes, si Valir ang reason HAHAHAHA. But pls don't judge me because of this revelation. I love him and back vice versa.
6. Lastly, thank you sa mga naka appreciate sa akong love story. God bless us all!

Sooooo, TENDEDEDEEEEN HAHAHAHAHA

When I met Valir, first impression kay gwapo but I'm not the kind of girl to dwell on that lagi. Murag passing ra kaayo ang nawng sa taw for me gud. In my head it was just 'okay, gwapo. okay'. I chose to name him Valir kay fave hero na nko even before pa na girevamp, nya pag revamp kay YAWAAAAA! KAYUMMY hahahahahaha pareha btaw silag shoulder broadness and thickness sa back sa akong bayukems.

Fleeting ra kaayo ang physical attraction nga akong nafeel so, when he told me bati ang GoT and he smoked, back to zero jud to. Like I previously said, wa jud koy gusto niya. Joke2 rato nako ang paregards ko kay abi palang way naggukod ๐Ÿ˜‚ aw. Daghan kong nahear nga chika ato nga ayaw daw anang Valir kay musud rag ting exam, lain kuyog babae sa buntag, lain nasad sa hapon. Tbh, negative jud tanan. Walay niisa niingon ug one nice thing about him. To me, disregarded rato tanan that came to my knowledge because duh, I'm not really into him and I'm still hurting tungod ni Gord.

The day Kimmy dared me to go and chat Valir to which I actually complied, I wasn't expecting it was headed to this very moment. We only talked about our mutual friends sauna while slowly delving into different topics, mostly the chill ones like series, books and anime; GTKY pa baya hahahaha.

I have this sht that I do nga if I think a guy likes me, I make it my personal mission to let him UNLIKE me. So, I told him I loved horror and thrillers more than rom-com/ I love greek mythology and unlike other fit women, I love board games more than usual physical sports. Surprisingly, siya pud. We talked about greek mythology for hours and ako, mura kog na-wow! okay, this guy has some sht nga di makaturn off ๐Ÿคฃ and he said nga bisan daw hilig kog horror og thrillers kay di daw sya bati nga trait, in fact unique daw bla bla. Nakigtalk pud ko about politics and economics because some guys consider that boring nya basin di jud diay muclick ahahaha pero nagkadugay, mas nibilib man nuon kos iyang critical thinking skills. I even tested his capability to go on and debate with me pero wala gihapon, par-par ramig knowledge ๐Ÿ˜‚

Been pila kadays nga straight mi sigeg talk with topics at random. Timing man pud nga sembreak to. He asked me: "Babs, unsay plano nimo sembreak? beach? pool?" (Babs iyang tawag nako sauna kay sungugon ko niyag baboy, wa ko nahurt kay wa man jud koy tiyan ato mga besh mga bai. Kani pud na question kay nakapaigting sa akong dunggan. HELLOOOO? IF ANG LAKI MAGPAHIWATIG MAKIGLIGO DAGAT, GUSTO JUD NA MAKAKITA GABIKINI KA. PERIODT)

Me: "Di ko hilig adtog dagat man and di pud ko sugtan maligog dagat ako ra isa" (I turned it down as neutral as I could)
Valir: "Ahhhh okay, mag-unsa man diay kas imong sembreak?"
Me: "Actually, plan nako muadtog Simala. Nipromise man gud ko ni Mama Mary I'd go mapasar lang ni nako nga sem"
Valir: "Mao ba? Ako pud. Pagstart pa ani nga school year mao sad akong giplan"
Me: "Botbot. Ikaw? Makahuna huna ug Simala? Wa niaso imong utok?"
Valir: "Wow grabe kayka. Tinuod btaw, okay ra nimo dungan nalang ta?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PUCHA GUYS PAKATAW-A SA JUD KO KAY KANI TYMA AKONG HUNAHUNA JUD KAY "NGEEEEEE PARA PARAAN" pero naa jud koy classmate na girl nga kuyog nako unta. Taekwondo girl ni sya nga dako kayg lobot ug totoy. Gisungog nakos Valir kay wa baya ta'y gusto luh, abi palang hahahahahaha

Me: "Okay ra nako. Pero naa koy kauban babae, ipaila-ila tika"
Valir: "Gwapa na?"
Me: "Okay ra. Dakog totoy ug lobot yieeeee type niya"
Valir: "Grabe kaykag panan-aw nako. Ge lang, una lang nyag uli ha, byai lang mi duha"
Me: "HAHAHAHAHA UWAGAN JUD KA OY PAHONG!"
Valir: "hahahaha joke ra, Mama Mary man atong giadto"
Me: "SUS LOSO"

Fast forward, on the day na muadto nami, my classmate cancelled on me kay di daw sya sugtan mulakaw atong adlawa. So, I was torn that time if mudayun pa ba ko kay kami ra duha ni Valir muadto. Pero, wa naman gud koy lain time kainsertan para muadto Simala. So, padayun nalang ko giinform lang nako daan si Valir nga nicancel ang usa kay basin magthink syang giset up nako sya para kami rajud duha. Ang piste kay gisungog jud ko nga gituyo kono nako para masolo nko siya?! ULOOOL? GAGUHAN? HAHAHAHA nireply rakog "Ngano man? gwapo diay ka?" ,

Valir: "ikaw? chix ka? chix ka?"
Me: "Klaro ana. Pwede raman ikaw ra isa muadto, uban uban jud ka nako. Ibog ka nako oyyyy"
Valir: "yux bagag nawng, di nalang ko mudayun oy"
Me: "Ayaw! hahaha bye muadto nako"
Valir: "Lagi oy, huwata ko padung na"

pero grabe iyang padung guys ay 45 mins jud kong galingkod sa emall hinuwat sa kanahan. Pag abot niya, nawng pa syag nakasuyop. Ga jogger pants + oversized shirt nya naay labakara gitungtong sa liog, murag kundoktor bag ong pasada oy ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ HAHAHAHAHA GAPUWA PUWA pang mata kay katugon. Akong shining, shimmering beauty nakapatulala niya (wa niy joke nitikig syag 3 secs nya nisiga iyang mata nga insik budlat) HAHAHAHAHAHA luoda btawg gisul ob sa buang pero, way tatsa sa nawng, gwapo jud sya badtripa juds porma oy wardrobe malfunction kaayo ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ Pero, okay nalang kay chaperone ra btaw, di btaw uyab hahahaha.

Otw sa south bus, we were walking side by side nya gikuptan niya kalit akong kamot! Nidilate akong fcking pupils sa eyes not because I'm in love with him but because what the fck? *Gunit gunit man ka dong? Uyab ta?* I spanked his hand saying, "My hands? precious. Don't touch."

Valir: "di di pa. chix ka? Daghan nangandoy makagunit sa akong kamot ah"
Me: "Aw di man diay ko chix, ayg kupot2 diha and count me out ana nila kay wa koy labot"
Valir: *laughs*

sige na syag reklamo nga init daw and mag air-conditioned bus nalang daw mi pero, that time wa may available aircon bus nya 9AM naman to so, nanakay nalang jud mi sa freeflow air nga bus.

sa pinakafront mi nilingkod tapad sa driver kay naa man pud syay mini fan sa front. The driver pointed the fan at me, I laughed and said "Sa iyaha lang na itutok ang fan kuya kay makuyapan nana singot na kaayo, okay rako ky di mn ko singtanon"

Nikatawa si kuya driver, tawgon nato syag Franco (giapilan nalang nakog tank kay pang early game ra kono ako heroes ana ang isa sa mga nicomment) nya ana sya "hahahaha bali naman nuon mo ang lalaki namay kailangan ug electric fan"

Me: "HAHAHAHA arte man gud na ya, spoken in dollars na"
Valir: *gikusi kos kilid*
Me: "hahaha ayaw ba" (gilkanon ko bleh ๐Ÿ˜, bergen๐Ÿคญ)
Kuya Franco: "HAHAHAHA dugay namo uyab?"

Nagdungan mig tubag:
Valir: "taud-taud nasad ya"
Me: "di mi uyab ya"

Kuya Franco: "Asa man juy tinuod ana?"
Me: "Ako ya kay di man ko mamakak, uban uban rana sya nko para makachansing"
Valir: "Ah ah giroa ah. Chix ka?"
Me: "Gwapo ka?"

kagets natos kuya driver hahahahaha on the way sa Simala, sige rag panungog si Valir nako everytime makakita syag tarpaulin or billboard nga naay baboy or pigrolac muingon jud na syag "sikata diay nimo dri babs oy" puros jud mi way buot magseg tinubagay sa bus murag kalog.

He paid for our transpo and food that day even if I insisted that I pay for myself. Niexplain ko nga di ko gusto magkautang ng loob and I just want nga fair tanan. Di man sya musugot aw okay ra, free af akong pag adto. The whole day he patiently waited for me sa long lines para muampo but he was standing close to me jud, smelling my hair or mangumot sa hawak, in short chansing, gipasagdan ra nako siya kay it didn't feel bastos then and besides my male friends do it too and di ko kafeel na naay malisya.

After a series of prayers and tears shed, nagtalk mi about religion in general. Til naabot ug politics and economics and people's mindsets, basta the whole interconnection of human interaction. He invited me in a sit-and-talk session. So, okay ra kay 2PM paman to. He started opening up (40/60: the fckboy rule. Sa mga wa nakahibaw kay ang 40/60 kay 40% truth, 60% lie. Gamiton na nilang mga fboi para makapangilad)

To his misfortune, I'm a theatre person. I look at eyes more than I listen to the words. He told me things about his childhood, his family and his sexcapades. I was looking at his eyes and tuod man, all were true. But then, nistart na syag flirt nako (mind you, nindot kaayo syag speaking voice, naay american accent iyang english; nya grammar and diction on point).

Valir: "You know, I never thought I'd feel this way about a girl before. Like wow, you're amazing. I already told you I've been with lots of girls before but you, you're different. For the first time in my life, I'm speechless. Like, I really don't know what to say. I'm always packed with words because I'm a verbal person but with you, wow, I'm totally blank"
Me: (TINOOD JUD NI WAY JOKE. WAY ATIK. WAY LOSLOS. THIS IS WHAT I'M THINKING: "OH? GIATAY. BLANK SA IMONG KAGARAL? MURAG MINEMORIZE NGA ORATORY PIECE OY YAWA! ATIKA IMO MAMA") *just nods*
Valir: "Please say something. I'm pouring my heart out here and you're slowly killing me by not saying anything at all. Please tell me what you think of me."
Me: "TBH, I like you but not in the way you want me to. I like you because we can talk about anything and everything at random and not everyone can do that with me. But romantically, I have nothing yet"
Valir: "No. It's me sensing that u like me but you're afraid of something. You don't want to take a chance on me because you're afraid kay daghan kaykog nauyab."
Me: "it's really not that. Kay ako, I won't care about someone's past as long as di na balikon. Like I said, I like you platonically pero if you say romantically, di man because someone else still holds my heart."
Valir: "I can work with that. Mapadako lagi na nko ang like nmo"
Me: "Wow noh? ambot nimo. Manglakaw nata ky hapit na 6"

Sige syag pangulit nako aning tyma nanakay namig vhire nya wa nako nitingog. He became very touchy, iyang gipulupot iyang arms sa akong arms and seg higda sa akong shoulder ky katugon daw sya. Til such time nangayo syag kiss nako and I was firm na di jud ko coz di mi uyab nya kiss2 mi murag buang? The whole ride padung city seg pangulit ang kegwa nga magpakiss sya nako until nikalit syag ingon "Diha nalang raba ko unahan munaog, di jud ko nimo kissan?"

Me: "Di oy, nakegwa naka? naog na."
Alucard (driver sa Vhire): "Naay munaog dri?"
Valir: "Ako ya." *turns to me* "awa, naog nako wa pajud ka nikiss nako, please na"
Me: "Buang, naog na oy kay nihunong na maikog ta"
Valir: "Ayyy, sige na."
Me: *kissed his cheek* (di ko marupok ha pero nagstop na btaw ang vhire for a minute nya di jud sya munaog, so ako nalang gikissan)
Valir: "SALAMAT KUYAAAA!" *ninaog na pinaambak pa dako kayg ngisi ngeeee*

I smiled kay bogo kaayo sya ninaog pirteng smile smile pina-ngiting tagumpay kaayo. Nikatawa nalang tong couple luyo namo sa Vhire. Maayo jud sya oy, kamao jud. Pakboi jud HAHAHAHAHA. Nya karong dugay nami ipugos jud niya nga sa lips kono ko nikiss kay wa kono ko karesist sa iyang charms ulol. Sa mga nakaila na namo, tuo mo nako, honest ko.

After 3 days, nangagda syag kaon sa Urgello so, I said okay. Guys, gibawi niya iyang wardrobe malfunction sa Simala. He wore shorts ug long sleeves nga ombre blue + Nike shoes nya iyang perfume ky 2metres ang diameter sa area of effect (AoE) humota giatayyyy❗ okay, di ghapon nako sya crush ato pero gwapo kay sya anang adlawa. Ako sya giiingnan nga palayo ug lakaw ky di ko gusto naay makakita namo nya isumbong kos akong parents ky bawal man ko mag uyab2 aning tyma hahahaha.

We ate and after niask ko asa mi padung, he just said basta. Daeeee gidala ko niyag place na small ra murag internetan ang cover sa door. MH diay to daeee naGG na akong chika sa akong self na di ko muuban ug MH. Too late to turn back naa naman jud ko didto. Pagsulod namo sa monster room, he kissed me jud dayun sa lips and tbh ang nidagan sa akong mind kay si Gord; (What if niingon sya nga di pa time kay inosente ra kaayo ko? never nakaholding hands, never nakakiss, what if I needed this? What if mawild ko for once in my life. Mubalik kaha sya? Mayta mubalik sya.) So, I went on with it, I kissed back. It was really steamy. Di nako mudetail but it was all foreplay. Walay penetration just that. Nanguyab sya nako after ana maybe because he thinks makuha nako niya by the time uyab nami. I said no 5 times because I saw where it was coming and that is -----> me being used and dropped as if way nahitabo. Even if I thought I needed to be wild, naa pud koy limits giset like kiss2 and touch2 lang.

He still chatted me even after I rejected him and expressed concern how I was doing and all, lami jud cguro ko noh? hahahahahaha joke ra. Pero nkathink sad btaw ko ana nga time nga if sugton nko siya, gwapo ug bright kog uyab, bisan kinsay makahibaw kay di ra uwaw kay he's a package except sa pagiging fboi. Nakathink sad ko nga what if makabalita si Gord na naa nakoy uyab, maka-realize cguro syas akong worth noh? Mubeg cguro sya maiyaha nako noh?

So, I said yes to Valir. Before u all judge me nga gigamit nko sya nga rebound. Nagkatug-anay nami nga nagkagamitay rami aning tyma. Siya kay for worldly pleasure, nya ako kay para mubalik si Gord.

Secretly in a relationship mi ni Valir because di ko gusto mahibaw-an sa akong parents nya mura ramig uyab with benefits. Pero nasakpan jud mi after a month kay nabiyaan nako ako phone. Lagota sa akong parents wa ko tagda for a week because of multiple offenses;
1. namakak ko
2. nagtago kog relasyon
3. i hurt them

At this time, wa jud mi kahibaw unsay buhaton so, sige mig sturya and kuyog. Inviton ko niyas laag nila sa iyang barkada and ipakita jud gani ka? HAHAHAHAH char nalipay nako ana kay mubo rakog kalipay. He started opening up nga ipa-ila nako niya sa iyang mama. Siyempre I asked kung pila na iyang napaila sa iyang mama kay basin kami pud tanan 54 napa-ila2 d ba? Di diay ko special, feeling lang hahahahaha.

Valir: "Duha. Duha pa akong napaila ni mama"

Me: "Love gyud diay na nimo ang duha noh?"

Valir: "Ha? di oy. Sila may namugos ipaila na sila. Kapoyan kog paminaw so, ako nalang gipaila"

Me: "Paita jud nimo oy"

Valir: "What?"

Hinay hinay my parents calmed down napud and told me ipa-ila2 si Valir nila. December 24, gipaila na nako si Valir sa akong parents nga si Mama Kadita ug Papa Gusion. Katawaa nako kay dagko kaayog lugak ang singot ni Valir HAHAHAHAHA i asked him one last time, "by, are u willing to do this? wa na bayay atrasay ug mailhan ka nila"

Valir: "By, you're their princess. I understand they want to make sure you're in the right hands. I want to make them see I'm worthy of caring for their princess even if it makes me such a nervous wreck"

Dungan pamig simba sa akong fam aning tyma and nangaon sa balay. It was overall, good hahahahahaha

AWWWWWW SANA OL. UNHAN NALANG TAMO. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

after sa akong fam, gidala ko niya sa ilaha to meet his parents pero compound man diay ilang gipuyoan so nameet nko silang tanan, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and his two grandmas. Nalipong kog bless daghan kaayo dmd. Before ko niya gihatod at 1AM, his aunt approached me, "Dae, si Valir kay di pa baya na sya mature, lingaw2 rajud nang iyaha so, pasensyai baya jud na sya dae. Iyang mga uyab sauna di magdugay pero murag lahi man ka nila. Sabta lang jud na siya. Mao rana iyang gikinahanglan"

I was wearing a dress that time nya ihatud rako niyag motor. Niingon iyang mama (tita Irithel), "mao diay di ipahatud ug sakyanan kay magkuot kuot diay. Tarunga nag kuot nak ha".

Nangatawa rami. Bugoy sad jud nis Tita Irithel AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Legal nami both sides ever since. Pero naa ghapon ang doubt nga basin kapoyon na, mamiya na. Kay if you are wondering why naabot ug 54 kauyab, usahay magdungan syag 3 or 5. At the time wa koy pake kay gamitay man ang show. Naconvince nako akong self nga the day I start caring, is the day I'd know I fell in love.

A month passed nga niask sya nako out of nowhere "naibog jud ka atong Gord?" naglingkod mi sa seaside ani sa benches duol sa ice skating area (naa pani sauna) hapit na 9pm ato. Mao to guys nitubag ko why i fell in love with Gord. Nya kabantay man ko nga the way I talked about Gord ky lahi like naay energy sa akong voice nya naay sparkle akong mata, I can feel it pero I assumed wa ra ni Valir ky helloooo? fboi? Wala rko para niya di ba? Gamitay rami d ba?

Niduko si Valir guys nya sige ra syag tando, padayun rasad kog tabi kay wa paman kaayo mi kaila sa each other. Di pako kadetermine sa iyang mood shifts ug feelings. Nanghagad sya mangadto nami, I found it weird but okay, Hapit naman sad magclose. Pag abot namo sa parking area nitingog sya balik "Love pa nimo siya? Panakip butas rako?"

I laughed. As innnnn I laughed, insensitive kay ko. Nya kabantay ko he was already teary-eyed nya pula na iyang mata. I fell silent, wa jud ko katingog for like 3 seconds. Nangita pakog right words to say.

Valir: "Nevermind. Don't answer the question. I already know the answer"

Me: "No. I will answer. To be honest, yes, at first panakip butas tika. That was the point of all of this but it was different when I saw u behind the judgements, behind the ing-ani ka, ing-ato ka. You're a very loving son, grandson, nephew and cousin, plus, when you care kay utmost jd nmo, dili bitin."

Valir: "Ghad i hate this. I've always told my exes I'm jealous of their exes and those guys nga nanguyab nila before me. But I never really felt real jealousy until now. You make me feel things I don't understand. I don't know how you do it but you do" (sige na syag hangad ky nitapok na ang water sa iyang eyes)

THEN IT HIT ME, THIS GUY IS CAPABLE OF CHANGE and for the longest time I refused to see it because everyone told me ayaw seryosoha kay binuangan raka. Then, all of a sudden, I took all my guards down and I let him in. Emotionally, I was ready to take a chance on him.

Sukad ato, everything we do together is genuinely overwhelming. As in, slowly nainlove jud ko niya because I started caring legitimately.

Everything he does is majestic. I enjoy our debates, chess/dama/scrabble/uno battles, petting and training dogs, foodtrips gikan sa kwek-kwek/balot/ fastfood/ restaurants, random singing moments halos tanan na kay we do together and it has been and always will be amazing.

Tapulan kaayo ni sya guys but he wrote me 5 long letters at random times. As in, heart melting kaayo. Seeing him is enough to complete my day. 2 years na and wa juy nabag o sa iyang routine. Muvid call pana siya padung ko uli, mutawag dayun if abot na sya gkan school. MakigML dayun hahahaha tibuok gabii on mic always HAHAHAHAHA dungan pamig trashtalk sa mga kauban nga bogo ๐Ÿคฃ

Here are some of my fave lines from him:

1. "So the more time we talk, hang out, and all the less time i gave other girls. As in by hinay hinay nawad.an kog gana to talk to other girls chat or meet ups by idk why until such time my life revolved around you . I don't even know what came to me nganong nisugot ko nga di na mucutting but i did. How can i say this? you broke all my rules by, from school to social media.

I now let you post stuff on my wall and it's a picture of us pajud wa nay excuse na wa koy uyab cause we are both there i don't do that. I never do. But w/ u i did.

I no longer smoke you lucky piece of sht pila na nako kagirls nisulti to stop and I never did but you made me stop.

For the first time, I'm contented."

~(Bisan nastalk na nako iyang profile gikan karon padung 2013, di gyud mo kakitag pic nilas iyang mga nauyab. The time na kami na, he posted a picture of me sa baywalk and soon album najud sa akong nawng nga nagkaon ug pina-baboy na kaon with caption "A QUEEN THAT EATS LIKE A KING IS A KEEPER")

2. "Also, I know I told you that I wish you should have come sooner and i meant it. But now I realized that if you came sooner, I would have probably fcked this whole thing up, like fck it really, really bad baby. Even if my art works on you ( in which it always does). I would be a guy wearing a blindfold, all i will see is darkness. I would seize to see your value. How lucky am I that i could go and say "she's mine", a girl I could be myself with. We can talk about pokemon, greek myth , norse myth, science sht, sex, grammar, backstabbing, life, fairy tales, anime and relate to it. I mean fck! You are the combination of Ted's Wife and Robin to me baby. You are the great love and the true love. The universe has given us the right time to meet and fck haha. So, lets not waste it. I surely won't. All my knowledge about the art will be used on you and you alone. The art will also be taught to our kids(all boys no girls) the moment they exit your womb. "

~(P.S. di sya gustog babae na anak kay kapoy daw bantay. gusto syag laki kay tudloan niyas iyang chickboy ways. Ted's wife is Tracy McConnel and Robin Scherbatsky are characters from How I Met Your Mother, my fave series of all time second ra ang GoT which is fave napud niya, sunod2 man gud na sya nako)

3. "Even though we dont know for certain what may have or could have been yet, if given a chance to meet you any sooner ill take the effin chance as long as you're the happily ever after in my shitty ass fairytale. As long as I'd end up with you, it's an "A-ok" on my book."

4. "That feeling nga u think wala ra,

she's just another girl, another pair of tits, another moaner, another cock sucker, another cowgirl, another girl to go cloud 9 with or just another pussy.

But then, u just wake up one day

And realize that she's different

There's more to her than just a cock pleaser

That, she's an 'I do'/ honeymoon / wake up & cuddle/ make kids / have grand kids/ grow-old- together-kind-of-gal."

~These four fave lines I wrote down are excerpts from the letters Valir sent me. I just want to remind everyone that someone's past isn't a measure of what they have become and will become as a person because it's okay to advocate against your past doings. It's okay to change and it's okay to be better.

~To all the girls reading this; Don't be another flower that's picked because of the beauty of your petals then, left to die. Be a wildflower, difficult to find and impossible to forget. Pangita sad mog lalaki nga maka-appreciate sa inyong value. Wa ko nipost ani para mangita mog bad boy, that's not the point because every girl's dream is to be a bearer of change to a man's life but that's not always the case. Love yourself first jud before anything else. Don't rush love, it will come.

I hope naa moy nalearn sa akong story ☺️ I appreciate all the positive comments from my previous confession ☺️ Love lots

_______________________
Part 3
_______________________


Hi guys! It's me again. Kamusta? Originally, I was planning to confess again 5 years later if unsa najud nahitabo namo by then. But we just got out of probably the one of the biggest challenges we could ever encounter.

I don't know unsa napud reaction sa mga taw ani because even ako, I wished Valir was joking and I wished it was a dream. Kay murag ang nahitabo namo sa salida rajud gani mahitabo? HAHAHAHA buyag kaayo mura jud scripted.

Nakaingon jud ko, ing-ana jud mi kahitsuraan na kailangan OA man kaayu ang problema? Di man ko pakatulgon ๐Ÿ˜ถ.

So, this just happened mga 2 weeks ago. We were very okay, Valir expressed he wants to see our offspring na (di ko buntis ha, kanang he just said that dreamily), he even said he'll propose once naa nay ipon and he's sure daw I'll cry. I always just laugh and say 'char' because I know it'd probably be years pud sad of waiting before such a proposal happens.

2 weeks ago, niduty ko sa hospital for 12hrs, 6pm-6am. When I got home, I chatted him na naabot nako sa balay. I asked permission to sleep kay di lalim ang 12 hrs shift and I did. I woke up hapon na, around mga 3:43PM. I called him dayun but to my surprise, he was in another call. Sud sa 3 years namo together, I never tried ever that I called and he was in another call. It was a first. Sure ko when I ask kinsa to iyang kaisturya, he'll answer 'mama'. The typical answer ug masakpan ka. So I called tita Irithel sa msgr, she was offline. I checked his barkada because he might use them as scapegoat as well. So, I called them nya mugo- thru raman ang tawag so they weren't in another call. (In my defense, it's not because wa koy salig ha, it just didn't feel right anang tyma).

I called Valir almost 20 times sa messenger and he didn't answer. So I thought it was really something weird because if mama niya iyang kasturya, kadiyot ra kaayu na mucall si Tita. So, I called him through phone because he was on data, meaning, if tawagan nako sya, maputol iyang katawag sa messenger. So, I did just that. When i disrupted their call, he then called me sa msgr. I asked kinsa iyang kasturya he answered me na mama daw niya. So, it raised my speculations to maximum, kahibaw namo, nagcheck ko daan. I asked again, "sure ka?" and he still said yes daw mama daw niya iyang kasturya. I was pissed as in. Of all the things I don't like, it's lying to me that u really can't get out of. Before I ask a question, I already know the answer man gud. So, you might as well wish you died if u lie.

So, I said "offline man si tita, kinsa imong kasturya?" So, he said "Sorry by, si papa btaw", referring to his biological dad. Never na nitawag iya papa sud sa 3 yrs namo but prior to this day na speculation, gachat sila sa iyang papa he even sent me screenshots of the conversation so, wa na nko gibig deal. I just asked ngano kailangan mamakak sya if iya ra diay papa iyang kasturya knowing full well nga I know the backstory. He said samokan sya kay manungog daw ko. Which was logical enough for me kay manungog man sad jud ko niya every time macontact iyang papa niya, only child baya sya nya usahay ra kaayu mucontact iyang biological dad nya love sad kaayu niya iya papa.

After that incident, night shift napud kos hospital, dugay kaayo sya mureply so, it was me sensing something was really up. I tried to call him, iyang pagngon. Nagnetflix daw sya. I couldn't put myself to believe that kay sa among 3 yrs wa jd nahitabo na gipagngan ko niya especially if duty ko mutawag kog 3mins max. Bisan gatan aw pana syag netflix, tubagon jud na niya heck, bisan gaML tubagon jud ko niya. So, I opened his netflix account and guess what? he wasn't watching.

I'm sorry if this sounds obsessive to most of you reading this but I'm really something else once I sense something off. One thing about me kay di jud ko gusto bakakan ko kay I'm a very open person, I feel betrayed when I being lied to so, I literally just won't stop til I find answers to my questions. I'm a nurse with a head of an FBI agent. Particular kaayu kog time, events, dates and statements. Anything you say and do can be used against you when I start asking questions.

Day-off nako the nxt day so I was resting, nalahi najud iyang tratar nako. But he still replies so, I gave him the benefit of the doubt basin busy lang kay padung birthday sa iyang stepdad. That night, gitangtang niya iyang featured photos na naa akong pictures sa iya wall sa fb. Of course I was in shock! like hello? What did I do? We didnt fight. What is this? Kaila mog confused? That was me. You guys have read my previous confessions and you read his letters to me. Makaingon jud kag how come? Right?

I asked and I begged for him to tell me what was going on because I was absolutely clueless and down. But he said tomorrow nlng daw mi magsturya kay muadto man kos ilaha since bday man ni Tito Johnson-- iyang stepdad (if you're wondering why makalusot rakog boundaries, nurse man ko gud, free pass). I tossed and I turned that night, I couldn't sleep at all. 5hrs kong tinuyok di jud ko katug, my heart was palpitating. I couldn't even hear my fan sa kakusog sa akong heartbeat.

I asked my papa Gusion--- my dad, na muadto kos ila Valir, nisugot rapud siya so, without sleep, nidritso kos ilahang Valir. Mas nafeel pajud nako na naay something kay before if maglakaw mig dungan he keeps on being touchy sa akong hips, makiglumba, manggitik, basta both his eyes and hands on me. That day he was busy chatting someone and so focused sa phone. I asked kinsa iya kachat and he said iya amigo. The name he mentioned was also close to me, tawgon nato syag Balmond. So I chatted Balmond if nagchat ba sila ni Valir, he said yes. I asked what time last nichat si Valir niya he said 12:12PM. The time Valir was typing a lot nga nitutok ko niya was around 1:10PM so, impossible na si Balmond iyang kachat atu. So, I took a video of him secretly chatting and smiling to his phone while I was at a distance. Para nร a koy proof how long he's typing and what time he's typing.

When we finally had alone time, I asked ngano siya, ngano mi? I told him I have a video of him chatting and smiling like an idiot. So he asked me, "By if I'm gonna tell you now, are you ready? Can you promise you won't ruin the occasion?" Ako, syempre bday ni tito so, I have no right to make a scene and make everyone else feel uncomfortable. So, he started to talk--

Him: "By, before I start, know that wala kay sala. You are the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. Please never blame yourself okay? My ex chatted. She admitted we had a child together"
Me: "Kinsa na ex? Pila edad sa bata?"
Him: "By, I won't tell you anything kay bright kayka makahibaw naka dayun."
Me: "Why are you so sure imoha? After pila kayears karon sya mutunga claiming naa moy anak? Bullsht"
Him: "The timeline fits perfectly. I am 99.9% sure it's mine. If you can see the child's pictures by, it's really mine"
Me: "Okay so, ing ani. Ipapaternity test ang bata. If it's positive, I won't leave u alone, dawaton nako ang bata bahalag di akoa".
Him: "That's the thing. Remember when I told you that bahalag kita and I accidentally impregnate someone because I'm drunk or wasted, panagutan nko ang bata and ang mama? I will try to make it work because when push comes to shove and my child asks me puhon why I didn't try, at least I can say I did my best it just didn't work out"
Me: *crying* "Kasabot ko ana but fck, asa ko? Asa kos imong mga plano? Why am I suddenly dropped like I didn't matter at all?"
Him: "I'm so sorry by, but blood is thicker than water. Please don't tell my parents sa. I trust you that you won't say anything."
Me: "What's your plan?"
Him: "The girl said she's taking the child to Cebu once quarantine is lifted. Amo isuroy ang bata probably maghotel mi".
Me: "Asa dapit ana ang paternity test? Bahalag u won't do the test for me, do it for yourself because you don't know what the girl thinks. Basin gisecure ra niya iyang kaugalingon knowing you have a bright future ahead of you. I will pay for the test. If imoha jud ang bata and u really want to work it out with them, you will no longer see me, di nako pakita, di nako manamok."
Him: "Ayaw sad. I know you, it will take u time to finally move on. While you're on the process, you can come here every now and then and you can talk to me. Close napud baya kas among family"
Me: "Kalain sad. Mura na nakog gipugos akong kaugalingon, you made your decision. I don't want to bother"
Him: "Ikaw bahala. But I'm not closing my doors on you. I still love you."
Me: "If you do, you wouldn't make such a rash decision to begin with. As easy as how u dropped me, that was how easy it was for you to let go of that love you're talking about"
Him: "To be honest, I'm not yet ready to let you go. Could you wait for me? I could get another phone for you. How's that sound?"
Me: "Tangina sure ka? Ako nay himuon nimog kabit? Wait? How long? how long? Hangtud kanus-a ko nimo kabiton?"
Him: "Five years by. Muadjust pud ko para nila"
Me: "Gigamyan kas 5 yrs? What if you click, what if you work, tell me where do I stand? Kung pakasal mo, kabiton ko nimo hangtud sa hangtud?"
Him: "I'm so sorry, bogo kayko."

He was curling on the side, banging his head to his knees. I just cried and cried. Tbh, nadisregard nako iyang dilemma with the fact that I am also very hurt to the point na kanang halos tanan imo na nabuhat martyr na kung martyr pero mudawat man jud kos bata. Mualaga gani kog halos tanan bata sa hospital, kana na bang iyaha, d ba? d ba?

So I shook his hand and said "okay, bestfriends?" I went out and celebrated with his family. Ako may photographer kay gabring kog DSLR. Kafeel mo anang mu slowmo tanan? Kanang kahibaw ka mingawon ka nilang tanan na nanganta didto. You won't be part of their small celebrations na ingon ato. You will miss those moments na daghan kaykag blessan. It was very sad for me. There are moments where I find myself staring into blank space and I immediately snap out of it.

I went back inside his room because any moment then, I was going to cry again. I sat on the corner of the bed and cried. He saw me, held my hand and buried his head to his pillow. He cried too. I was so lost idk what to do he hugged me and kept kissing my forehead saying sorry repeatedly.

Kahibaw mo unsay funny? Adto ko matug. Sa iyang kwarto, kay wa kahibaw iya parents we're on the brink of falling into the abyss. Girl, Imma sleep in the same fcking bed!!! With the man i loved for three years who dropped me that very same night!!!

Everyone else wondered why we never went out of that room that day. Nga jam man unta kayko ug karaoke sessions. Pero guess what? I was thinking already na magpakabit ko. Are u all getting this? MARUPOKPOK KO BES. TANGINA.

Me: "If I say yes to your first offer where do I stand?"
Him: "Baby I'll be honest with you all the way. I'm gonna buy another phone for you. I'll tell u everything, even let you meet my daughter"
Me: "Okay, how much time do you need before you decide if it's working?"
Him: "5 years"
Me: "A year and a half"
Him: "By, i lost so much time with my daughter"
Me: "I'm not asking you to drop your daughter. I accept that she's there. I'm giving u a year and a half to settle things with the mother"
Him: "Okay, but no promises. I will try. Baby, permission?"

He asked permission to reply because the girl sent pics of the child daw. So, I said okay.

I was sitting there hurting at the side. And I asked myself is it worth it? Becoming the person I hate the most just so I could keep someone nga walay assurance maakoa ba jud? Is it worth my dignity? Is it worth my pain? Is it worth the next 5 years of my life trying to share someone else's time?

I realized my answer was a big NO.

I told him, "Without a doubt I know you're gonna be a great dad with all the things you said you'd do for our future children. But that's a blurry picture now. Probably even lost. I can't spend my life waiting on you. Because I'm not even sure what I'm waiting for. I'm setting you free."

Him: "Okay. But can you please promise me three things?"
Me: "What is it?"
Him: "Don't go out to clubs and parties and get wasted. Don't go on stupid dates like the time you did so before me. Don't fuck someone else"
Me: "What if I found someone worth dating?"
Him: "It's no longer in my control. Just don't rush yourself."
Me: "I won't. Thanks. I'll focus on my career"
Him: "Stop looking at me."
Me: "Why? Asta kana bawal? Given the possibility I may never see you again, I just wanna look at you"
Him: "Please don't. Or I..."
Me: "What?"
Him: "I may not be able to stop myself"

He kissed me. Passionately then torridly. He took all my clothes off and took his... we made love. I let him. Oh d ba? Marupokpok ka gurl? We made love because that may be the last time we will ever do.

When we finished I asked did it make him feel guilty? For the child and the mom? He said "a little. It is wrong but feels so right. You feel so right." Then, I smiled the most bittersweet smile I have ever given off in this lifetime.

I didn't sleep again that night. I couldn't. I was watching my archived my-days and I cried again. It hurts so much more than anticipated. I never thought something so beautiful could crumble into nothing by mere words of "may anak tayo". I watched his face til morning came. And I decided to end it while the wounds are cut open and is bleeding.

His parents were to take me home. But before they did, he played 3 songs on his JBL speaker.

1. Beautiful In White: (the first song that played the first time we met) I opened my phone and my wallpaper flashed--- a picture of us on his graduation day flashed (we were all in white). We both smiled.

2. I won't give up on us: I used to sing that a lot. So, I said "Oh my gosh, so many things to delete from my playlist". He smiled a bittersweet smile.

Before he played the third song he said; "one for the road?"

3. When I was your man: HAHAHAHAHA lol. Funny how he played something like this when the choice was his all along. Right?

On the way home, Tita Irithel asked me what was I crying about. I told her it was a normal quarrel. She insisted. Because who would believe me? I cried the whole night ๐Ÿ˜‚. I told her Valir would tell her when he's ready. But she won't accept that kind of answer so, she said "Ayaw ko tagai ana. Tagai mig overview unsa juy nahitabo kay di mo namo matabangan kung kana ra".

Out of respect that they did welcome me in their house and in their family, and thinking they just might help clear Valir's mind, I told them everything. Naturally, nasuko sila. They were really rooting for me, for us. They called him stupid and what-nots ma.

They both said "Bogo nalang jud kaayo siya na gilet-go ka niya. Sa tinuod lang, di na sya kakitag pareha nimo. Ge lang, ug mao na iyang decision, magmahay rana sya puhon makakita kag lalaki nga muhigugma jud nimog maayo. Anak na nko pero makaingon jud ko grabe kabogo naman lang gyud niya."

That day, I went home and told my parents we were over. Gikan ana adlawa wa nakoy kaon. Wa koy gana, di ko katug. It was hard. Taud taud a notif popped. Someone liked my post on Valir's wall. It was Alice (his ex from 8 yrs ago) that sneaky bitch. HAHAHAHAHA bayot kayg nawng ang piste.

I chatted Valir: "Wow, si Alice diay? Kabogo naman lang gyud sa iyang self-reveal, abi nakog di sya ang inahan? Abi nakog secret na ninyo? Nigawas lagi na sya?"

Girllll I was sure siya ang inahan sa bata kay ngano like2 man sya atung among pictures? Klaro kaayu iya napud to ipatangtang and Voรญla! nawala na akong post after nilike si Alice gidelete na dayun.

So I chatted her, ako sya giaway kay abi palang buotan kayko ๐Ÿ˜‚ She was so out of words as in wa syay matubag nako all of a sudden wa na sya nireply so I called her. She was IN ANOTHER CALL. I called Valir. IN ANOTHER CALL pud.

Wa na. Klaro pas crystal clear na nagsabot sila unsay ilang iingon nako. I knew then nga ipadeny ni Valir ni Alice nga siya ang mama. So it happened. I timed the conversation. 2hrs kapin. Then Alice gave me straight answers na after their call. So, bogo nalang ko if mupush jud nako nga siya d ba? Naa pa syay screenshots na nagsorry kunuhay si Valir kay nadamay sya. Klaro kaayo staged. So, I said sorry and continued to chat her. Mubigay raman pud na madugay.

Giingnan sya ni Valir to go and stop chatting me but she didn't listen. She kept talking to me trying to find my dirt. Just so happened that she did herself dirty instead. Cge kog sturya niya to see if ang other clues na gihatag ni Valir nako checks her out and it did! She was the child's mother. Bright ko besh? Yes bright kayko. Ulok ninyo tanan! Mag-FBI nko nxt month. I asked her pina amiga if pila iya exes and if all of them fcked her. She told me the truth ๐Ÿคฃ Iya ingon ni Valir way lain nakahilabot niya sooooo, enk wrong na dayun ka nimala ka. 8 years na nilabay sa imong kabigaon, you probably even fvcked every guy in Manila!

Tita Irithel and Tito Johnson talked to Valir that night pero gibali ko niya. It was a joke daw katung anak2 kay the real reason he did that was para mastrong ko. Kay sige daw kog hilak and he doesn't like it. Gusto daw sya mausab daw na nga part nako and makakita daw kos akong self worth. To which nituo pud sila tito and tita.

I spent 5hrs trying to convince them naa lagiy anak til such time they considered it again. Makigtalk daw sila balik ni Valir. Niabot sa point na pati ang auntie ni Valir na si Tita Lolita kay nichat nako saying "Magmahay rana sya day. Pasagdi na sya magabaan rana nimo. Be happy day, pangita ug lalaki na di ka ing anaon. Sa akong nakita di man sya happy ron. Mayra! Gisayangan paka niya. Muari sya diri sa amo sayu kaayo, magbasket balisa man sya. Mayra." Ing-ana ko nila kalove guys makahilak ko ug building yawa.

Moments came na I felt guilty because I was too focused on my pain na naneglect nako na it was a tough choice for him too. Wa man gud sya nakasala nko, gets ninyo? Yes, gidrop ko but he never cheated on me. The two of us? We were okay, we were over the top! It's just that according to his principle, it was me vs. his daughter. Just so happened na grabe kay sya mupangga ug anak to the point that he's being taken advantage of. I felt kind of responsible for him because I was the only one he talks to always and everyday to the point that when I left he was alone. I was scared Alice was brainwashing him. I was scared she's blackmailing him kay excited kay syas bata.

Then I remembered him banging his head to his knees, I remembered him crying and I remembered him holding my hands til morning. I was ready to fight for and with him all of a sudden . I wanted to talk to him but my messages were ignored. He bought a new sim and he won't talk to me in general.

People told me to wait til he's ready. Wait til he reaches out. But I was there worrying when will he be ready? When will he reach out? I can't wait for that! What if I wait and I lose him?

So I prayed. I prayed for enlightenment. I prayed for God to reveal to me everything.

That night Alice chatted me that nakigtalk daw si Valir sa ilang barkada sa province saying "Bruuh, I hate my ex, she's getting worst. Anak ko pinaglalaban ko. Sinisingit nya sarili nya? How selfish is she right? Telling my parents? Para lang makuha nya ako? Anong klase yan bruuuh?"

I was so angry I chatted Valir: "What? unsa ni imong giingon? Ako selfish? Telling your parents wasn't for me. It was for you because you can't talk to anyone else. After all that we've been through you think so lowly of me? FCK YOU."

After sending that I realized a few things:
1. It's not like Valir to talk sht about me.
2. It's not like him to tell his friends
3. Those weren't how he says things. Choice of words kay poor and grammar not quite like the Valir I know.

So, I felt like we're being played at some point. Nakatug ko after that mga 30mins my phone rang. It was Valir's bestfriend Vale. It was 3:23 AM he asked naunsa nami ni Valir kay maoy kaayu akong myday and posts so I told him everything from the beginning where it got blurry then nakamention ko ni Alice.

Vale: "Ha? char2 man mi ni Alice for months now. When sya nichat ni Valir? Kay actually I ghosted her kay clingy na kaayu di pami uyab. Gusto niya videocall buntag, udto, hapon. Di nako kabuhat sa akong mga buhatonon"
Me: "Fck. What? When ka nighost niya?"
Vale: "Wait ako pangitaon. *sends ss*"

To my surprise it was the same day she chatted Valir na naa silay anak. So, we talked and I asked Vale na bigaan balik si Alice so she will leave Valir alone. Ing-ana sya kadesperada sa quarantine guys!

I told Tita Irithel what I found out and she said, "Ana btaw ko nimo ayaw na pakigsturya anang bayhana kay bakakon kaayu na. Burikat nag mama. Liwat kaayu na siya. Kung kana naman lang gani dae, ayaw kaguol kay ug mao man gani na iyang pilion ithan ra syas ulo ana. Makakita rakag mas maayu para nimo nga di ka ing-anion. Kay ako di jud ko mudawat ana, sa tinood lang bahalag wa koy ilhon anak."

I called tita Irithel, Valir's mom. "Tita, one last favor. I want to talk to Valir. Karon jud dayun"

I was determined more than ever to take back my man. Alice is devious and she is shtty to the point that she ruins a perfectly good relationship because it didn't work on all her past relationships. So, I said "Di nako kapaabot tita. Ang ako lang is muexplain kos ako side. If di na sya. Ready nako sa worst. Kapoy na duty seg huna huna. I want to put an end to it. Whatever his decision is".

Her: "Okay, sige. naa naman sya sa balay, gikan to dris office. Naa kay masakyan? What if di najud siya?"

Me: "Wala koy masakyan tita kay ECQ na balik. Ready nako tita whatever the decision is. Muexplain rakos ako side, di na. Di na ipugos"

Her: "Okay, kwaon ka namo. Asa ka?"

Kaexcite namo dri na part kay nakulbaan na kaayo ko ani. Di jud ko sure unsay iyang ireact btaw kay iyang gipagawas kay di sya ganahan kigsturya nako man. Wala niuli sila tita kay para makasturya mig tarong. I was wearing a sexy sundress pero nagjacket ko.

I was at the gate when I heard nagsoundtrip sya sa iyang kwarto, he really wasn't expecting me. Ako pud gituyo kay macondition nasad unya niya iyang self na magsuko2. I'm always a spontaneous person. I do what I think should be done regardless what other people say.

When I opened the door to his room and he saw me. HE SMILED. PUTA GUYS, HE SMILED? I stood there confused. Like, what? WHAAAAAAT? But I stood my ground. No smiles, no cries.

Me: "Im not here to ask you back. And I'm not here for anything else except explain why I told your parents"

Nahibong ko sige syag piyong and said "Ngano naa ka diri? Go home."

I said "ayaw kuno ko piyongi, can we talk? Look at me please". He looked at me and smiled again. I was squatting this time on his bed, when he said ; "Cover your pussy"

I was like---giatay? Bigaona ah! To think gashorts ko ha nya gadenim jacket. Nya, technically we've broken up. Gikuha niya iya unlan gitabon sa iyang tunga. He always does that kung magsturya mig serious nya mautgan sya.

I disregarded it and continued with what I was saying. He kept on moving away from me para di mi mag atubang nya atubangon man jd nako siya kay di ko gusto magsturya magtalikdanay.

Him: "I don't love you anymore. Go home"

Me: "You expect me to believe that? 3 years, I know you do. But you just made your choice and I respect that. I'm here to explain my side why I told your parents when I promised I won't. I'm also here to hear the truth. After all, I deserve it. If you're ending us this way then, before you set me free. Make me free by telling me the truth."

Him: "Okay, once you're done talking you're free to go. I'm not obliged to tell you anything."

Me: "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're stuck with me. Coding ugma di ko mahatud nila tita. I'm gonna sleep sa foam ari rakos floor. I just want to clear things as to why I told them the truth and its because I saw you were confused. I was too focused about being hurt that I didn't consider your part. Tell me how it happened and everything else in between. After all, I deserve that. I really do."

Him: "Okay. Tell me everything you know. I'll listen and I'll tell you the whole truth but first take off your jacket you look warm".

I did exactly what he said and I changed to his shirt. I told him that Alice checks out everything about the secret mother of the child. Then, I also know about her lies with regards to telling me Valir said something bad about me. And lastly, I found out Alice and Vale (his bestfriend) were a thing and he ghosted her on the day that Alice chatted Valir. He asked if I got proof, which i have all in pictures and videos. And a conversation wherein Vale chatted Alice "Punta ka sa kwarto dating gawi" kay they used to video chat for 8hrs straight while Alice is naked.

He then hugged me. The tightest hug in the entirety of 3 years. He said what he was hoping to find out in a month, I found out in 3 days. I cried, I cried so hard. I missed that hug. I never thought I'd be in it ever again.

So here's his side of the truth:

"By, I was originally considering telling you the truth about Alice. But I don't want you to overreact the way you always do because at the end of the day, I won't find out anything. My bad because I had to drop you to do just that. I wasn't 99.9% sure that the child was mine. I was in a 20% rate instead. When I told you to wait, it wasn't around 5 years, I was thinking maybe a month max that's why I wanted to keep you by asking you to be my 'kabit' while I delve into the truth. Manipulative nana siya sauna pa and di ko gusto madamay ka. So far, I knew I could handle it. It wasn't her lies that made me tell you the truth. It was when I asked u to take off your jacket and you were already so thin in a span of 3 days. I told myself, di nani maayo. Imma take you back. It wasn't about her, me or the child. I just can't stand seeing you like that anymore"

"I could've understood it if you explained your side that way the first time maybe I could've helped you make your investigation faster. What happened to 'me and you against the world?' It was painful because it made me question my worth after you dropped me but it also did me good because I told myself I was worth it and I knew I didn't deserve it." I replied.

He said if he let me in on it he knows I can't take the part where magpasweet2 siya ni Alice to find out the truth. Which is true, I probably would have fcked it without finding out sht. There were a lot of loopholes na in her story in the very beginning. Graduate daw sya nursing and pasar sa board but doing our research, her name never popped up in PRC results ๐Ÿ˜. She said she has a car and motorcycle. She sent pictures of them and those looked like they were in a shop kanang wa pa napalit, nakadisplay pa. She also said she's earning ,3-4x the average Filipino nurse and that she owns a shop of her own. But when she sent me her picture she looked like a saleslady at a mall with her pink uniform. She is a pathological liar with a very manipulative nature and a very delusional mind. I can't even begin to tell you how she denied everything so strongly even after nasakpan na namo sya. Tapad nagud mi ni Valir ato and we've been comparing what she sends to the both of us. Very contradictory shts hahahahahaha nakakatawa nalang kos iyang kadesperada ug ka-impossible.

I asked why he smiled the moment I walked in, he said, "I just knew right then that after everything said and done. You still see what's behind what I say and do cause you're here. I can't lie to you anymore. And you know exactly how my body reacts when you look at me. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep telling you shtty ass lines face to face. And here I am, telling you everything. I knew you were so smart you'd know who and find out the truth but I didn't expect it to be this fast."

Me: "What can I say? I have a thing for solving mysteries. Saman? Resign nako kay mag-intelligence unit nakos Pinas?"

We both laughed, hugged, kissed and made love over and over again. TANGINA. MARUPOKPOK.

Regardless, we promised to never drop each other again no matter what the problem is in the future. No more lies, no more secrets. He talked to my parents, apologized and promised to never hurt me again.

So, the three of us: Me, Valir and Vale told her we knew her sht. Still, she denies it to the three of us at the same time. Nitry pa syag turn things around by saying, "So, mas mabigat pa pala ang babaeng yan kesa sa amin ng anak mo. Okay, don't bother na makita pa si Lylia. Wala tayong anak. Walang ganun" And there you have it, another sad attempt to turn things around. Retarded ass.

She underestimated our 3-year-long relationship and she underestimated Valir and Vale's friendship. Most of all, she underestimated how we think. She thought her lies could web us down her path of sht but I guess she's eating her own poop now.

Anyway, we're okay now. We're stronger. Everything really does happen for a reason. Take it from me. I am a perfect girlfriend but I knew from the very start I have something worth fighting for and I will fight for it no matter the odds.

To you Alice:

You are a pathological liar, you are manipulative and you are delusional. You're not a graduate of anything and you're a saleslady at a mall which is not a problem man unta kung di lang ka bogo and yawa. Businesswoman my ass! Kung wa kay lingaw ba, dakpa imong utot! Paadmit palang ka problemado kaykas utok!

If you're an ex, stay an ex. Psychopathic btch tendencies psh. If you're a btch, make sure you're not fcking around with btches like me because I can dig you a hole bigger than what you dug yourself. ๐Ÿ˜˜ Toodles!

Buotan kayko gurl, you woke my demons up. Awayon pa unta tika pero I realized you dont deserve the attention. Sleep well knowing we all know your crap. ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ˜

Please edit last part. Nalipat hehe **I am NOT a perfect girlfriend but what we have is always worth fighting for**

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Part 4
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Good day everyone! Kumusta namo? Char hahahaha Btaw, I want to say thank you sa tanan nisupport, nakaappreciate and nainspire sa akong story na gisend back in 2019. It’s been two years since my last confession and daghan na kaayong nahitabo. For starters, I saw a UCNian admin compile and post my stories again last August 30. Because of that, it made me want to write this one as well. Keep my identity hidden lang ghapon ๐Ÿ˜


I took time to read all the comments and nakakatawa kaayo ko guys hahaha sorry if di pares pares akong characters. First and foremost, I would like to give you a visual as to what we all look like in real life. So, ang akong gipili na ML characters kay either parehag nawng sa person sa akong story or parehag lawas or demeanor. Naa ra anang tulo so, you can read back on my story parts and imagine ML heroes as you go on. Enjoy!

Ever since the third part of my confession, dami nang ganap hahaha. I have been working really hard to save up money para makalarga. Yes, you read that right! Makalarga. Nurse ko, seaman si Valir. Both of our professions are money-makers sa gawas sa nasud, dili diri.

I worked as a Private Duty Nurse before, one-on-one caring mi sa pasyente. And kani na mga pasyente, di ni basta-basta sa Cebu. Dagko kaayog mga balay, daghan kayg mga sakyanan. Working as a PDN, gamay kaayo ako tan aw sa akong kaugalingon pirmi. I am a graduate of a four-year course pero i-“HOY” rako while nagtrabaho. Isog ko guys and maldita ko pero naa pud kos lugar. The people I served are shareholders sa dagko na companies, schools and even car companies. I didn’t have the guts to talk back but instead, I vowed to one day get my ass off of this country.

As soon as I got my license, I worked at the hospital. Pasensyai baya jud mi ninyong mga nurse ha kay bisan gihilantan nana inyong pasyente dha or nagsyagit nana sa kasakit, di mi kahatag ug tambal if wa pa gireseta sa doctor. And ang doctor usahay dugay kaayo murespond or busy sad kaayo pero kailangan jud namo sila huwaton. So, don’t be so harsh on nurses if naa mo sa hospital. Daghan kaayo mig pasyente but gamay kaayo mig sweldo. Nagsyagit na sa pikas room and gisapot napud ang uban pasyente or paryente. Sa abroad baya, respetado kaayo mi, kami ang pangutan on sa doctor kumusta ang pasyente. Makaingon rami didto nga “Doc, patient 001 had high grade fever at approximately 1pm, I gave 500mg paracetamol and took vitals 30 minutes later, the fever went down to 37degrees, so far, no other abnormalities”. Magthank you pana sila namo.

So, you see diha palang daan, makita na nimo ang difference sa nurse sa gawas ug nurse diri. Same goes for sailors (MarEng, Nautical, MarHRM). Ang crew sa gawas, tagsa na silag cabin because foreigners uphold everyone’s right to privacy. Dri, bunk beds usahay duha pa magtapad. Way klaro pahuway, nya food? Unli rice and very limited nga sud an. Not accounting sa kainit sa panahon, gamay pag sweldo.

You may think our love story is so smooth and so easy. But no love story is easy. There are many faces to one’s relationship but despite the hardships na nasinati namo sa among tagsa-tagsa kacareer, we still genuinely smile and hug and kiss when we see each other.

No picture nor post will ever capture the look on his face when he sees me. No statement will ever describe the immense amount of patience he showers me everytime topakon ko. I am very grateful I found him out of the billions of people in this world, I’d say I’ve met half of my heart in him.

Karemember ko, someone asked me sa part 1 if nakasakay naba si Valir, hahaha. Nisakay sya late last year and true enough, grabe kamingaw. Imagine seeing a person everyday and all of a sudden, di naka kakita niya. Pero one thing I like about him and his entirety is the fact that he never misses a day to ask me how I’ve been. Akong struggles, akong battles, he knows them still. Sa two hours na dunggo niya everyday, itawag pa niya ang 30-45minutes nako. Usahay manghagad pag ML before sya matug. Muchat, text or videocall pa sya.

He had a 10-day leave when he reached his 6th month sa barko. When he got home, he talked to me about our future together.

Him: “By you know what keeps me going?”

Me: “What man?”

Him: “I feel so excited to see you again. I draw strength from that and everyday ako ingnan akong kaugalingon na gamay nalang.”

Me: “Awwww. You’re my lifeline as well. Pang rejuvenate jud ka sa akong kakapoy. Pero naa koy chika. Di ba sauna magthink ka na dugay pa ka mahuman, paspas kaayo ang oras? Karon na nagthink ka duol nalang murag muhinay”

Him: “Btaw atay kaayo”

Me: “HAHAHAHAHAHA pero again by igkaanak nato sure ko babae”

Him: “hahaha bwisit. Mura raba nag sumpa. Basta chixboy kaayo, babae anak”

Me: “hahahaha imo mga migo ay puros babae anak”

Him: “Lagi. Bisan pag pangutan on ko nimo karon by unsaon nako pagdala akong anak babae, di jud ko katubag. Wa jud ko kahibaw unsaon nako. I hate the thought na ako anak gihilabtan lain laki. Gusto ko hatud-kuha na siya nya ug magcondo sya adto ko muuli”

Me: “oh, unsaon man ko? Imo ko byaan sa balay?”

Him: “dili. Kuyog ta adto ta uli sa iyang condo”

Me: “hahahaha bogo. Strikto kaykog mamag papa by, kauyab ghapon kog VALIR. Mauyab pa gyud sa imo anak pareha nimo 50 kapin nauyab”

Him: *kawt ulo* “ hahaha Ambot uy! Atay aning babae oy, ug laki pa ispoil nako palitan nko condo tagaan nakog dagko allowance pangdate niya nya pangdala ug chix”

Me: “Saba uy, ako man kupot budget”

Him: “Naa man ko 20% ngeee”

Me: “Akoa sad nang kwaon”

Him: “Di pwede uy, akoa na panggasto”

Me: “Panggasto loslos imo na sugoon pangchix atu anak”

Him: “Mag-unsa man diay? Laki man sya”

Me: “Gabaan jud ka pulos babae imo anak”

Him: “Ayaw sad tawn oy *tuktok* galisod man gani ko unsaon ang usa”

Me: “HAHAHAHA salig nako. Babae jud una mugawas”

Him: “Saba uy. Mababaan ka”

We went on by talking about probable business ventures, and start buying properties PUHON. And reading this right now maybe makahunahuna sad mo noh na stable na kaayo and boring na. Well, after years of being together, your priorities isn’t going to be settled on the *BED*. Though for us, we never got past the honeymoon stage, but priorities get injected here and there. Nindot jud mangita ug person that treats you like a princess and f*cks you like a pstar.

There’s a long road ahead full of speedbumps and steep roads but every obstacle can and will be a piece of cake when you’re with the right person.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Seaman imong uyab di ka mahadlok mangbabae sya?
Take fear out of your life and you’re no longer human. With that being said, my greatest fear in life is losing my loved ones— be it circumstantial or consequential. But then again, pertaining to the question which is specifically pointed to my beau, my answer is yes and no. Yes, because life gave us the stereotypical idea that men— especially seafarers are womanizers thus, it was always engraved in us the off-chance that they will continue to uphold that legacy and also, I believe that everything is a possibility. And lastly no, because a very big part of me trusts and loves him so much to know better. Not everyone you meet is as typical as everybody else. Stop judging people collectively through the actions of the minority.
Best relationship advice:
Communicate. Always talk about how and what you feel. You can be angry, disappointed and whatever but always always strive to give a resolution to problems at hand. You may think a few hours won’t hurt to cool down but in reality, life is too short to be anything but happy and at peace.
When you’re in a relationship, think about “2-seater kayaking”— when any two people are aboard, they have to paddle together to keep it moving. The water below will symbolize your pace, your hardships and your serene moments while paddling will pertain to trust, communication, compromise, love and affection. If any one of you puts a stop paddling, there is no moving forward. And if any one of you brings another person to ride, the kayak will sink.
This is the same for any kind of relationship. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

And before I end this part, kay mabusy najud ko next few years hehe. Nireply na ang UK agency sa akong application. Fingers-crossed on this one, pray for me and for us nalang chars. Wa na nanghilabot si Alice diay, kay if mutry siya kita jud sya’g aninipot hahahhahahaha love you guys! ๐Ÿ˜˜

Lastly, happy 4th anniversary namo. It’s our anniv month we’re still so much inlove! To God be the Glory! Toodles ๐Ÿฅณ

1 comment:

  1. Sana all nalang q sender.keep safe and stay strong mong duha ni sir valir..,

    ReplyDelete

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